Bugs Bunny Named to Trump Cabinet - Eric Green, Humor Times

Cartoons shine spotlight on potential new selections, including Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck.

Considering that Donald Trump’s picks for his cabinet are already a joke, cartoons could extend his list as to who else is available for these important jobs. Trump said if his original picks don’t work out for one reason or another, there are always “distinguished Americans” such as Bugs Bunny, Goofy, Donald and Daffy Duck, and Mickey Mouse to serve as potential replacements.

Trump cited Bugs Bunny as a “true American hero” loved by kids and their parents alike. Known for his brilliant iconic catchphrase, “What’s Up, Doc?” from the Looney Tunes franchise, Trump said that Bugs Bunny is a “recognized scholar and rabbit of the arts and is fully qualified” to become Defense Secretary if the original choice drops out or isn’t confirmed by the U.S. Senate.

“Me and Bugs go way back,” said Trump. “Bugsy is an America First patriot and most importantly, loyal to me and the MAGA movement. He’s an advocate of the carrot and stick approach to foreign policy. For sure, he does love those carrots,” said Trump.

Speaking of Looney Tunes, Goofy stands ready to become the new Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services. Trump said Goofy is admired by all his fellow dogs for advocating that every dog has his day. Goofy will make sure dog chow doesn’t contain excess fat or harmful chemicals that he maintains leads to autism.

“Goofy is what I call a real character,” said Trump. “By that, I mean he acts like a clown sometimes. But behind that goofy face he just wants people to like him. Okay? He’s brought joy to kids for as long as I can remember. Even the kids in my family loved him. He’ll be a beauty as health secretary in my cabinet.”

Because being Director of National Intelligence can be an insult to one’s intelligence, Trump will nominate both Mickey and Minnie Mouse for the job if the original choice doesn’t pass mustard. Trump said that just like a mouse, “Mickey will do everything I ask him to,” said Trump.

Minnie Mouse is not to be minimized either, said Trump. “She’ll be there to help Mickey out when the Communist lunatic left-wing press tries to set a mousetrap on him.” One of her most outstanding virtues, added Trump, is that “Minnie is no one to play around with. She’s all business. She won’t put up with any Mickey Mouse.”

Donald Duck, son of Quackmore and Hortense Duck and nephew of Scrooge McDuck, is in line for Attorney General. Like Trump himself, Donald Duck has a pompous personality in which he thinks he’s better than everybody else. Trump says that arrogance will prove a positive as Donald Duck pays no heed to all the wailing and moaning after he arrests and puts in jail members of the “traitorous Democrat Party.”

Daffy Duck will run the FBI if Trump’s present choice isn’t up to snuff. Daffy is uniquely qualified for the job, said Trump, with an obnoxious guilt-free personality offering no qualms working with Donald Duck about investigating and eventually jailing Trump enemies like Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, Michael Cohen, and anybody else who’s given the new Chief Executive any grief.

Then there’s Pluto. Besides being named for a planet in the solar system that revolves around the sun god, Donald Trump, Pluto doesn’t talk that much but he does carry a big stick. That’s what will make him perfect as the U.S. border czar. Pluto will enforce Trump’s pledge to kick out the supposedly 15 million illegal immigrants in the U.S.

Clarabelle the Cow, one of Minnie Mouse’s best friends and also the girlfriend of Goofy, would prove an excellent fit as head of the CIA even if she’s considered the “town gossip” and might not be able to resist blabbing about top secrets of the government. But Trump said Clarabelle is “MAGA” all the way so “Jiminy Cricket, don’t have a cow about it. Okay?”

No list of cartoon characters running the federal government is complete without including Marjorie Taylor Greene for head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. With her wise counsel about Jewish space lasers causing wildfires in California and that Democrats can control the weather and were behind hurricanes targeting Republican red states, who better to run FEMA than her?

Of course, heading FEMA is not what Greene aspires to since she considers that job beneath her. She sees herself as Homeland Security Secretary. With such noble and enlightened people like Steve Bannon backing her for that position, who wouldn’t want to put such a brilliant mind in charge of ensuring the nation’s security from foreign threats?

For that matter, why not appoint that other cartoon character, Steve Bannon, as Secretary of State? Who better than him that with all his finely tuned diplomatic skills, not to mention being such a sharp dresser, America will be served like never before to lead the President’s foreign policy agenda? It’s good to know that Steve is available for the job now that he’s just been released from jail.

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Eric Green

Eric Green has Donald Trump to thank for a number of his satirical articles. As long as The Donald is around, Eric will continue to have new material to write about him. Eric finds writing satire a welcome escape from the realities of life. When he’s not trying to be satirical, Eric has been a former newspaper reporter, ex-press aide to a U.S. Senator on Capitol Hill, and ex-writer in the federal government. He's also the author of three mostly humorous books, the one he's most proud of is called Temporary Insanity, Costa Rica, My Way. For fun, he practices playing Beatles songs on the piano.You can find more about him on LinkedIn.