Interview: Looney Tunes' Elmer Fudd - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid radio talk show host interviews Elmer Fudd from Looney Tunes.

ANNOUNCER

From under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY DUNCAN

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is Elmer Fudd from Looney Tunes. He will be discussing the 2024 election.

LOONEY TUNES’ ELMER FUDD

Evewy thing is scwewy, Duncan. Donald Twump is the 47th pwesident of the United States. And the people he picked for his cabinet are cowwupt.

JERRY DUNCAN

What do you mean?

FUDD

Be vewy, vewy quiet while I expwain. Take Matt Gaetz for Attowney Genewal. He wikes underage girls. And is an aggwessively unqualified stooge who has no experience. Even the Twumpsters don’t wike him. Then there’s Tulsi Gabbard, Twumpster pick for Director of National Intelwigence.

JERRY

She has no intelligence.

FUDD

Exactwy. She’s a Wussian asset. Wikes Putin. And these are just a few of Twump’s picks.

JERRY

Hey, Fudd. What did Ukrainian President Zelensky reply to Putin when he called to complain about the exploded bridge?

FUDD

Don’t know.

JERRY

Crimea River.

FUDD

Ha ha ha ha ha.

JERRY

In your opinion, did the Democrats blow the election?

FUDD

No. Joe Biden did a gweat job in office, but he bowed to pwessure to let someone younger be pwesident. Ageism is the most common form of pwedjudice. Someday you’ll understand.

JERRY

Well. I guess you’ll never get to shoot Bugs Bunny.

FUDD

I’m 87 years old. My hands are arthwitic. But on the plus side, met a wovely woman at my arthwitis support group last night. We clicked together.

JERRY

It bothers me that Donald Trump will never be tried for crimes he committed against the American people. The federal charges against him were dismissed and the states will soon follow.

FUDD

Twump is a jerk. I would wike to stick my foot up his you know what.

JERRY

I’m with you, dawg.

FUDD

Did you just call me a dog?

JERRY

In a good way. You’re a dawg.

FUDD

Yeah? When your momma dwopped you off for school, she got a fine for littering.

JERRY

Suck it up. When you wear a yellow raincoat, people think you’re a taxicab.

FUDD

Stop. It’s nap time.

JERRY

At 8 o’clock in the morning?

FUDD

When life knocks me down, I take a nap. Sayonawa.

JERRY

Elmer Fudd everyone. See you tomorrow.

The Comedy Zone

Comedienne Roseanne Barr gave up a baby girl for adoption at age 16. Every time Roseanne pushes out a turd, she thinks of her.

The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.