The new canals will be the “best ever,” says the President-elect, and way bigger than “pipsqueak” Panama’s.
Panama has rejected Donald Trump’s contention that the United States has every right to retake the Panama Canal interoceanic waterway. But Trump retaliated via “Truth Social,” saying, “Nobody knows more about building new canals than me.”
Trump declared that with Panama not playing ball, the U.S. will retaliate by building new canals across the nearby Central American countries of Costa Rica and Nicaragua, whether they like it or not.
Trump rejected Panama’s rejection that the U.S. had no right to take over the Panama Canal. The Canal, he said, once belonged to the U.S. and Trump maintained that under his administration it could happen again. It’s America’s Manifest Destiny that it should own the Canal, contended Trump.
“We built it. We sacrificed millions of people to make it happen. It’s our Canal. It belongs to me. Stupid presidents before me gave it away and we want it back. Now. Or else. Little dinky pipsqueak Panama thinks it can defy Donald Trump. How dare they? Who do they think they are? We’re talking about Donald Trump. What Donald Trump wants, Donald Trump gets. Okay?”
In response to Trump’s threats, Panama’s President said that “every square meter of the canal belongs to Panama and will continue to.” He added that “when it comes to our canal, and our sovereignty, we will all unite under our Panamanian flag.” The waterway’s former administrator, Jorge Luis Quijano, said that “there’s no clause of any kind” in the agreement that the U.S. signed officially transferring control of the Canal to Panama on December 31, 1999 “that allows for the taking back of the canal” by the U.S.
Latin American experts agree with Quijano. They say that “absent a second U.S. invasion of Panama” there’s no way for the Americans to retake the Canal.
Even if Trump declares that he’s a “brilliant” student of history, he’s probably unaware that the U.S. originally thought of building a canal across Nicaragua. But the U.S. President at the time, Teddy Roosevelt, eventually turned to Panama for the canal after France abandoned its efforts to build it. Trump may also not know that China has said for years it wants to construct its own canal across Nicaragua to rival that of the Panama Canal. But to date, China’s statements are only big talk, no action.
Trump’s grandiose world plans also include building a new canal across Greenland, once he has the U.S. seize that island territory owned by Denmark, as he keeps threatening he will.
Greenland of course turned blue in the face at the prospect of the U.S. assuming control of its territory. That’s before its face turned red, appalled at Trump’s audacity to think he can grab anyplace or anyone anytime he feels like it. Denmark also chimed in by saying it wasn’t thrilled with Trump’s plans. Trump responded to the Danes with that famous phrase, that “there’s something rotten in Denmark,” whatever that means.
Trump also says that once the U.S. owns Greenland, he’ll rename it Trumpland and have his people build a new Trump championship golf course adjoining the new Trump canal. He may even make it an indoor layout with an elaborate dome with Trump’s orange face plastered on the outside cover considering that it can get rather frosty in Greenland.
Trump also suggested out of nowhere that he has his eyes on building more canals in the Netherlands, to go with the 62 miles of canals already there.
“I’ll treat them like a Dutch uncle if they keep saying bad things about me,” said Trump. An official for the Netherlands said he had no idea what Trump means, especially the part about being a Dutch uncle. “Why would that klootzak talk mean to us? He’s criticizing us? What’d we ever do to him?”
Trump also complained about the “shoddy” 150 canals in Venice, Italy. “When my wife Melania and I rode a gondola there, the canals were filled with rats and other vermin like illegal aliens from Third World hellholes. Venice needs a makeover. I’ll have my American engineers build new canals there that we Americans can enjoy. Capisce?”
What would be the real reason why Trump wants to build new waterways in all these places? The answer is simple, Trump said. “To prove that we can do it and that nobody better dare try and stop us. Besides, I’m Donald Trump. And Donald Trump, the greatest president ever who’s making America great again, will make any country who defies me about those canals feel like they’re having a root canal.”
Trump also said ominously that if China keeps making big trouble for the United States, he may go ahead and have the U.S. build a canal across that country, even if China already has a canal called the Grand Canal. Building a U.S. canal in China would go along with the massive tariffs Trump threatens to impose on that Asian nation.
“China better be nice to Donald Trump,” warned Trump, “or we won’t allow any more Chinese food in our restaurants. That goes for Chinese takeout as well. So get a move on, China. Chop chop.”
Trump also weighed in with the prospect of the U.S. taking over the Suez Canal in the Middle East. Even though it was primarily built from an agreement between France and Egypt, Trump said the United States deserves to own it because it’s the most powerful country in the world.
“We won World Wars I and II,” said Trump. “To the victors go the spoils.” Sounding like he was repeating a song by the British rock band, Queen, Trump said that “we are the champions of the world, my friends. And as the champions, the Suez Canal belongs to us and nobody else. Okay?”
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