The President-elect says all U.S. cities and states should use “American names” only, and says he’ll enforce it by executive order if necessary.
The names of the states of California and New Mexico must be changed immediately to “American names,” declared Donald Trump in a recent press conference.
Trump told reporters that he wants those states, like all places with Spanish-sounding names in the U.S., to have American names that have nothing to do with Mexico or the Spanish culture.
That means New Mexico is an automatic candidate for obvious reasons, said Trump. Trump said he’s given it some thought, and New Mexico should now be named for one of his daughters.
“Tiffany sounds about right,” said Trump, “or perhaps, just ‘New Trumpico.'”
He added that because he loves “The Jews” and “The Jews love me,” another daughter, Ivanka, a Hebrew name, could work well in place of the present name of Nevada. Even if the Ivanka name isn’t strictly American, Trump said it doesn’t matter. Americans know, he maintained, that she’s an American princess.
As for California, the new president said he’s thinking about calling it with another Hebrew name, Elon, in honor of his “First Buddy,” Elon Musk. But he might save Elon for another place that sounds Spanish, such as Colorado, and change California to Eric after his son Eric Trump. Or if that doesn’t work, give it a more princely name such as Baron von Trump, for his youngest son.
A number of cities in California with Spanish names must also be changed, Trump said. That list includes Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, San Francisco, San Diego, San Jose, and Sacramento.
California reportedly got its name from a 16th century Spanish novel that involved a warrior queen named Calafia.
Trump’s name-calling against Mexico follows his statement that he wants the Gulf of Mexico to be changed to the Gulf of America.
“The Gulf of America, which has a beautiful ring, covers a lot of territory, the Gulf of America. What a beautiful name. And it’s appropriate,” he said, although he didn’t exactly explain what was appropriate about it.
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who never fails to get in her two cents worth in sucking up to Trump, said that she will introduce a bill in Congress to officially change the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. That body of water runs from Mexico to along the southern United States.
Trump is not the first person to propose changing the name of the Gulf of Mexico. In 2012, former Rep. D. Stephen Holland of Mississippi proposed a bill to call it the “Gulf of America.” But he claimed he meant it as a joke to mock his Republican Party colleagues in Congress who he said seemed to want to push anything or anyone Mexican out of the country.
It remains to be seen how Mexico might feel about having the Gulf of Mexico’s name changed to something Trump says is American. Initial reports say the Mexicans might hold demonstrations where they hoist banners along the Gulf of Mexico shoreline displaying the Mexican flag with black block letters saying “México Si, Trump No.” The Mexicans are pledging that the name of that body of water will always remain Mexico and double dare Trump to try to change it.
“Senor Trump is loco if he thinks he can change it to Gulf of America,” said the group of demonstrators who call themselves “La Gente por El Golfo de México.”
Trump said if those demonstrations keep at it, he might be annoyed enough to just go ahead and make Mexico the 52nd U.S. state, after first having Canada becoming the 51st state. That’s not to mention also having the U.S. take over Greenland and the Panama Canal, as he’s been threatening to do. If he has to use force to accomplish those changes, “so be it,” said Trump.
Trump said he’s also unhappy that Texas and Florida have so many Spanish names. Cities in Texas like San Antonio, Laredo, Corpus Christi, El Paso, Amarillo, Pecos and San Marcos must immediately be changed to sound more like American names, “or we will have U.S. military troops change it for them.”
“Of course, the Rio Grande on the Texas-Mexico border must also now be known as Big River and if it isn’t, there’ll be hell to pay. Okay?” threatened Trump.
Trump said with the river sounding American, maybe all the illegal immigrants migrating from Mexico will think they have to find another place to cross over into the United States or maybe give up the idea entirely. Political observers said this latest Trump brainstorm sounds “completely wacko.’
Meanwhile, in Florida, Trump said he’ll get rid of that state’s Spanish influence. Cities on his target list include Boca Raton, Naranja, and Ponte Vedra.
Trump said he’s also raising Cain about the city where America flies its rockets into space — Cape Canaveral — named by Spanish explorers as a place of cane. “We must have our rockets blasting off from a place with an American name,” Trump said.
“How does Cape Trump sound to you?” said Trump with a wry grin.
Trump said he’s ordered the state of Florida to come up with a new American name, or he’ll change it himself. History says the Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon came up with Florida meaning Feast of Flowers. But Trump said that’s all “fake news.”
“It’s a disgrace that all our American snowbirds come down in winter from the North to a place with a foreign name like that,” said Trump. If nobody else will do it, Trump pledged that he will make the Sunshine State “shine with a name that truly reflects the best of American values and culture — ‘Walt Disney World.’”
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