Howls of “Cruel and Unusual Punishment” heard at Mar-a-Lago regarding “unjust” Trump sentencing meted out by Judge Merchan.
Citing “cruel and unusual punishment” at the hands of a weaponized justice system, President-elect Donald J. Trump has promised to level “profound retribution” against trial judge Juan Merchan. “Lookit’ his name,” cried Trump, “he’s just one generation removed from bloodline-contaminating vermin!”
At the sentencing, Merchan sentenced the ex-president to “unconditional discharge,” a sentence which carries no fine, no jail time and no probation. But it does brand Trump as the only man to assume the office of president as a convicted felon. Trump challenged this ruling as “impugning my good name” and as impeding his performance as “the nation’s soverign.”
“The Eighth Amendment,” bellowed Trump, “prohibits any and all punishment of the president,” and “the Supreme Court agrees that I can do anything I want.” Trump was speaking to reporters from the Mussolini Ballroom at Mar-a-Lago on Friday, after concluding his remote participation at his sentencing in the Manhattan Hush Money Case.
Manhattan Distract Attorney Alvin Bragg convicted Trump on 34 counts of falsifying business records when he paid adult film siren Stormy Daniels $130,000 in hush money in 2016. The hush money payment was in return for her silence about an affair which transpired a decade before. Trump has denied the incident occurred. “I never boinked old horse-face,” he reiterated Friday morning.
When asked by reporters what form the promised retribution against Merchan might take, Trump replied that, as president, he had many options, including unleashing the deadly Seal Team 6; arrest, prosecution and summary execution of the jurist for “treason”; or even assassination “by a MAGA patriot or patriots unknown” who may take justice into their own hands. Trump extolled the unquestioning fealty of his MAGA constituents.
As part of his scheme for retribution, Trump has begun plans to staff a Trump Justice Department with proven Trump acolytes, including three Trump attorneys: Todd Blanche, Emil Bove and D. John Sauer who, in the meantime have formed a legal practice called “Toadies R Us.” “These boys,” crowed Trump, “will kick some vermin ass!”
Trump said he decided to take the reins of government today rather than on Jan. 20. He promised to dispatch an Apache helicopter to the residence of former Speaker of Nancy Pelosi (D. CA), and “take out the bitch!” Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, in sympathy with Trump in his anti-Mexican sentiments, is currently flying an inverted Mexican flag at his vacation home in New Jersey. Justice Clarence Thomas, another Trump ally, has promised to accelerate execution of the death sentence for all Hispanic prisoners on death row. “Me and Ginni be wiff de’ president,” said Thomas on X (formerly Twitter).
More News:
Former Trump advisor and Breitbart News Host Steve Bannon announced today that he will be married to Cerval “Tiny” Dweet, who is currenty a resident of the Federal Correctional Institution in Danbury, CT. Bannon spent 4 months at Danbury, ending in October of last year. Bannon said he has found his “soul mate,” and this time he is “really in love.”
- Trump Sentencing: Retribution Promised - January 16, 2025
- Trump Holds First ‘Fireside Chat’ at Mar-a-Lago - January 10, 2025
- Trump Advances New Slate of Federal Holidays - January 7, 2025
