Musk says USAID “principally funds three of five shithole countries and the violent assailant of our ally, Vladimir Putin.”
Trump Sugar Daddy and dom Elon Musk said Monday that funding of the United States Agency for International Development (USAID) is a “crazy waste of money.” Musk was addressing a gathering of the South African Chamber of Commerce in the United States (SACCUSA). The audience of 1,400 Apartheid Colon Sphincters cheered wildly.
USAID operates under the aegis of Congress, with an annual budget of $44 billion, which represents less than .5% of total federal budget appropriations. Musk reminded the crowd that “the top recipients of USAID money last year were Ukraine, Ethiopia, Jordan, Congo and Somalia.” Musk snarled charismatically for the cameras and continued, “and what does it say about an agency that principally funds three of five shithole countries, as well as the violent assailant of our ally, Vladimir Putin?”
Created by Congress as an independent agency at the behest of then-President John F. Kennedy in 1961, the stated aim of USAID was two-pronged: to counter Soviet influence during the Cold War and to run various foreign assistance programs. USAID funds international development and disaster assistance through partnerships and investments that save lives and reduce poverty. Or, as Elon Musk avers, “an effing waste of money.”
USAID disburses funds for everything from women’s health care in war zones to clean water, from HIV/AIDs treatment to energy security and anti-corruption work. In full flower, USAID had a staff of more than 10,000 employees. Musk told the crowd that these workers have been put on voluntary unpaid administrative leave and that those refusing to accept furlough would be visited at their homes by Proud Boys, Oath Keepers or other of the Trump Sturm Abteilung. When asked by reporters, Musk admitted that his Brownshirts are under orders to “deflower the childless cat ladies” in the agency and has promised the progeny of such unions a full scholarship to Trump University.
When President Donald J. Trump said that USAID, which serves more than 100 countries, is “run by a bunch of radical lunatics,” Musk went a step further by calling the agency a “criminal organization” and saying that those who head up USAID should be “publicly disemboweled.”
Musk told the beer-drinking, pot-smoking crowd of S. African nationalists that “disaster assistance, anti HIV/AIDS care and similar efforts” are “not financially remunerative,” and “don’t make good business sense,” and so “Donny and I are feeding the agency into the wood chipper.” NBC released a report Monday night, indicating that a movement is afoot to change USAID from an independent agency to an organization under the umbrella of the State Department. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, contacted for comment, demurred, remarking that “Elon hasn’t told me what to say–or think–yet.”
In response to another question shouted out by an MSNBC reporter, Musk claimed that he still has “a major hard-on” over 1986’s Comprehensive Anti-Apartheid Act (CAAA) which was vetoed by President Ronald Reagan. The vote was later overriden by Congress and the law went into effect. “If I hadn’t taken a financial bath forty years ago, just imagine the scale of my wealth today,” murmured Musk, shaking his head regretfully.
As the rally wound down, Musk was asked about the constitutionality of his actions. Flashing that shit-eating Elon Musk grin, he pointed to the ongoing tenure of Supreme Court justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito and remarked, “that hasn’t gotten in our way before.”
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