U.S. Gov’t workers are now required to sign a loyalty oath to Trump. Refuseniks get a one-way trip to outer space.
The Trump administration is sending a questionnaire to every government worker in the United States that includes ordering them to sign a loyalty oath to Donald Trump. Or else.
The questionnaire asks whether the employee has ever voted for a Democrat, has ever worked for a civil rights or human rights organization, became involved in diversity, equity and inclusion programs, and whether the person loves Donald Trump.
The questionnaire will also ask if the employee will agree to wear the red baseball cap that says, “Make America Great Again” and whether they support Trump being President for Life. Those who sign the loyalty oath “probably will have nothing to worry about,” said a Trump spokesman.
However, it’ll be big trouble for those “refuseniks” who object to signing the oath. Chances are they might not like what’ll happen to them. Sooner than later, said the Trump mouthpiece, these “disloyal traitors” will be sent by air, land, and sea to live in such lovely garden spots as Outer Mongolia and Sudan. Whether those wonderful places will accept the deportees is not Trump’s problem, said the mouthpiece.
To make an example of certain special cases, they may even be blasted into outer space on an unreliable Musk rocket. “Like test animals, they will add to my data set, and will hardly be missed if things go wrong,” said Mr. Musk.
Eventually, Trump plans to expand the loyalty oath program to every citizen in the United States. That ambitious project, to be run by Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), aims to weed out all refuseniks and troublemakers in the U.S. “who don’t get with the program,” said a Musk spokeswoman.
The loyalty oath project follows Trump’s proposal for the United States to take over the Gaza Strip and “temporarily” remove its residents en masse to other places in the Middle East like Egypt or Jordan. Informed sources say that by “temporarily,” Trump is actually means “permanently.”
Making it sound like a poker game that depends on a roll of dice, Trump said that Palestinians should leave Gaza because it has been “very unlucky for them” and “move to a good, fresh, beautiful piece of land.” The United States, he added, would develop the Strip into a utopian “Riviera of the Middle East.”
Yes, one could see Trump building a five-star skyscraper condo-hotel and championship golf course on the grounds where celebrities like Kim Kardashian, J.Lo, and Leonardo DiCaprio come to Gaza from all over the world to party.
As might be expected, Gaza residents were not exactly thrilled at the prospect of being displaced. Egypt and Jordan also were not delighted at the idea that hordes of people would be swarming into their countries. Some observers called Trump’s plans “nuts” and “bizarre.” A spokesperson for the United Nations termed the idea “tantamount to ethnic cleansing.”
With the loyalty test, Elon Musk’s team of young 20-something techies would work on algorithms to decide where to send any disloyal Americans.
Among those Musk already plans to ship abroad, without even administering a loyalty test, are Trump enemies Rep. Nancy Pelosi, who is destined for Outer Mongolia, and Senator Adam Schiff to dropped off in the Amazon jungle. Musk said Trump has personally ordered that “Black Muslim” Barack Hussein Obama be “deported to his native Sudan.” Trump’s order belies the fact Obama was born in the United States and that his forebears come from Kenya.
Also listed for immediate deportation are Hillary “Rotten” Clinton, earmarked for Snake Island off the coast of Brazil in the Atlantic Ocean, “Low IQ” Kamala Harris, to be sent to the village of Oymyakon (sounds like oxycodone) in far eastern Siberia, and Trump’s bitter foe and former hatchet man Michael Cohen, to be exiled to the Gates of Hell in the fabulous country of Turkmenistan.
Musk said that once his SpaceX team says its rockets are ready to blast off to deep outer space, he will start shipping the American dissidents who refuse to sign the loyalty oath on one-way trips to Mars, Pluto and points beyond. The trips will begin, said Musk, without testing his rockets for safety. “If they explode on lift-off, they explode,” said Musk. “It doesn’t matter to me, because we need to get rid of these Trump haters one way or the other.”
Musk added that his co-president, Donald Trump, will be “very pleased that we’ve emptied the United States of garbage. America will become once again great and beautiful with Mr. Trump joining me as our country’s lords and masters.”
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