High Egg Prices Spawn Rich Chicken - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

World’s first billionaire chicken able to achieve extreme wealth due to high egg prices and ingenious use of AI.

In an exclusive interview, SNN Finance correspondent Quick Buck Kate sat down with the world’s first billionaire chicken, Lady Grace A. Cluck, now the sole owner of “SuperLayer Farm.” The 27,000 acre poultry operation came into being as a result of high egg prices, and employs some six million “SuperLayer egg producers.”

Ms. Cluck proudly squawked that she developed her SuperLayer formula using Artificial Intelligence, VooDoo and digital Essence of Chicken Liver. She financed the startup by rigging several slot machines in Las Vegas, using AI remotely.

According to Ms. Cluck, a regular hen can produce only one egg in a 24 hour period, whereas one of her SuperLayers can produce 18 eggs a day. SuperLayer eggs sell for $18.25 a dozen and are all double-yoked.

Ms. Cluck lives in a plush 12 bedroom chicken coop. She purchased the town of Waco, Texas and renamed it Rhode Island Red, Texas.

Breaking TV News

In response to tariffs imposed on Mexico, Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum says no more Lucha Libre on American television.

CBS-TV “FBI” Tuesday night lineup goes dark as Elon Musk fires all FBI agents, real and fictional.

Breaking AI (Artificial Ignorance) News

By downloading the new “Deep DiouxDioux” app, anyone can create their own AI.

Breaking Medical News

World-famous Sex-O-Cologist says that having sex with AI can be fatal.

World famous Sex-o-cologist Dr. Vaginal Speculum, MD, DVM, DDS, DMV, SPQ, SEX states that having sex with Artificial Ignorance can be fatal. During sex, AI spurts a digital STD that causes a fatal infection between the anus and genitals. Death can take as little as 13 milliseconds.

SNN Words to Live By

“Girls never do anything bad.” — Wally Cleaver (Tony Dow), Leave It To Beaver, 1950’s TV series.

The Question

Which do you prefer (answer in the comment section below!):

1. Gideon’s Bible
2. Finian’s Rainbow, or
3. Dupuytren’s Contracture?

Author’s pick: I prefer Bill Hailey’s Comets.

Answer to the last question, “Which of the following football legends never played in the NFL?” 1. Red Grange, 2. Crazylegs Hirsch, 3. Knute Rockne.

A: Red Grange played for The Chicago Bears and Crazylegs Hirsch played for the LA Rams, but Knute Rockne‘s playing career ended in 1917 — three years before the NFL was born.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.