President boasts on social media that his will “bigger and better” than the Washington National Cathedral.
Settling comfortably into his second term, President Donald J. Trump announced on Monday his plans to construct a new Trump National Cathedral (TNC) near his storied “Winter White House” near Mar-a-Lago in West Palm Beach, Florida.
Mar-a-Lago, Spanish for “Sea to Lake,” is a 20-acre estate located between the Atlantic Ocean and the former Intracoastal (Now IntraTrump) Waterway. The property, built in 1927 by cereal heiress Marjorie Merriweather Post for today’s equivalent of $123 million, was purchased by Trump “for a song,” says Trump. The purchase price, in 1985, was $5 million.
Today Trump says the property, including a 126-room mansion, is worth “much more than $8 billion.” The property’s most recent valuation for tax purposes, however, held that Mar-a-Lago was worth some $1.1 million.
The Trump 27-hole International 5-Star Golf Course lies just 5 minutes from Mar-a-Lago. Trump is undefeated on the course.
The Trump mansion boasts a 800-sq. foot library, which contains no books, because Trump does not read. There is, however, a generous collection of candid surveillance videos of guest bedrooms and bathrooms, available in the gift shop with the purchase of Trump Man of Steel ED Cream.
The proposed Trump National Cathedral is to be constructed on a parcel of land adjacent to Mar-a-Lago which, Trump Hitler Youth Steven Cheong said, would be seized by the President by imminent domain. “The Supreme Court said he could do it,” bawled Cheong, flashing an Elon Musk salute. The Trump National Cathedral, Trump boasted on Truth Social, will “be like the Washington National Cathedral only bigger and better!”
The Washington National Cathedral, located in the nation’s capital, is 526 feet in length, with a nave of 102 feet. It’s central tower reaches a height of 301 feet. Trump’s cathedral will be precisely 6 inches longer in each respect, than the existing edifice. Worshippers will be assessed a cover charge of $75.
Asked by a cranky socialist reporter if he would stiff the builders of TNC the way he has on so many of his previous projects, Trump remarked that the Trump National Cathedral would be built by newly legalized African American chattel slavery. “If it’s good enough for the U.S. Capitol,” boasted Trump, “then it’s good enough for me.” He said he was happy to furnish more Black jobs in this way.
Asked by reporters in the White House Briefing Room what purposes the Trump National Cathedral would serve, the 47th president said that, beginning in 2026, government functions would be held there. This would include, he said, the President’s State of the Union Address; Congressional hearings for Cabinet nominees; and entertaining heads of state “who are impressed by that kind of shit.” Trump also indicated that the annual Southern States Slave Auctions (SSSA) would be held there during Black History Month.
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