Secretive Changes as Egg Prices Rise - Sly Mockery, Humor Times

Forces embedded in Trump’s inner circle are leaking some of the most outrageous secretive changes yet to come.

Mar-a-Lago, WPB, FL – 02-22-25 – Forces embedded in Trump’s inner circle are leaking some of the most outrageous secretive changes yet to come, now that Trump’s cabinet are seated. From health care to government workforce, from our monetary system to the new not so monetary system, the Trumped-up version of Trump has arrived and you ain’t seen nothing yet.

secretive changes, leeches for health — Secretive changes include RFK leeches for “health.”

Starting with the thing that keeps Americans up at night the most, besides the rising price of eggs, is the bloodletting; not the systematic government downsizing kind of bloodletting although that is on the list. No, we’re talking about actual bloodletting used in not so modern medicine, where patients are drained of most of their blood to supposedly make them well again. Enter Bobby Kennedy, Jr. who has floated the idea of bloodletting to cure illness and take the place of vaccines.

Funny story. When Kennedy approached Trump to discuss bloodletting, Trump got so giddy they had to take away his fourth Diet Coke before he passed out. Kennedy joked “Sir, if you pass out, I will use the best leeches I can find to bring you back.”

Then there is the Trump/Musk introduction of cryptocurrencies to gradually (or not so gradually) replace our fiat monetary system. Since Trump still believes in the gold standard, Musk is using creative ways to get Trump to warm up to the idea of a monetary system based solely on the discretion of computer programs and Musk’s strategic lies.

Funny story. When Musk approached Trump with the idea of using cryptocurrency instead of paper currency, it was met with panic. Trump, under the impression that his vast fortune was guaranteed in gold should he ever want to “cash in,” became visibly shaken, and Musk came up with a clever way to close the sale. Musk assuaged Trump’s fears of losing his gold by offering to have all the gold fixtures in Trump’s properties removed and replaced with gold-plated Dogecoin.

And the best of all are the changes taking place in the Department of Defense. Under Pete Hegseth’s leadership, many of the federal government workers under his purview are being fired with no explanation at the behest of Trump. While Hegseth’s willingness to impress his Commander in Chief knows no moral bounds, there is one change in particular he has announced that Trump claims was “so freaking genius, I can’t thank Pete enough.” Trump was referring to Hegseth’s proclamation that from now on, Casual Fridays will be replaced with Casual “Sex” Fridays across the military. “If the White House is a rockin’ don’t come knocking,” Hegseth joked.

Funny story. After leaving Trump’s chambers with two hot blondes in tow, Hegseth declared “waterboarding is back on the table!”

So, go ahead, cry over cracked eggs and spilled milk. Waste all your panic attacks on the day-to-day inconveniences of having only enough of that oval gold to make a two-egg omelet. But for God’s sake, never lose sight of the incredibly creative ways Trump’s handlers are handling him, so they can ultimately manhandle America.

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Sly Mockery

Sly Mockery is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, Mockery uses humor as a tool to fight an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once-brilliant nation. If you like his posts, become a follower and leave a comment. And don't forget to share on Facebook, Twitter and other social accounts!