Presidential WrestleMania: winner between Trump and Zelenskyy will negotiate with Putin to end the war in Ukraine.
US President Donald Trump and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy are set to settle their differences in a special main event at an upcoming WWE WrestleMania.
The two will go head-to-head in a 6-out-of-10 falls steel cage, barb wire Russian chain, Texas bull rope, exploding ring, Slobovian flaming dung pit death match.
The winner will get the right to negotiate with Russian head man Vladimir Putin to end the war in Ukraine.
In order to prevent any outside interference in the match, Elon Musk will be handcuffed to both Hulk Hogan and Senator Susan Collins.
Breaking News
Counterfeit Eggs Flooding the Market
According to SNN Fowl reporter Little Bantay Rooster, counterfeit eggs have been showing up on supermarket shelves. He states that Mrs. Suzy Homemaker of Tom’s River, N.J spent $13.99 for a dozen eggs at her local market, but when cracking the eggs to make a rum and vodka omelet, she noticed that there were no whites in the eggs, but only yoke and sawdust.
She reported the incident to the US Poultry Police Service and was told that coast to coast there have been over 2 million incidents of counterfeit eggs.
Intelligence reports state that the most likely source of the fake eggs is the Mafia on the planet Zardoc.
SNN Words to Live By
“That gal reminds me of a highway between Fort Worth and Dallas… no curves.” — Foghorn Leghorn Merry Melodies cartoon.
“Be outa town in an hour or I’ll come a-killin.” — Marshall Tom Lynott (Richard Kiley), Gunsmoke, 1970’s TV series.
“If a pain in the ass was gold, I’d be one rich muthafucka” — Everybody over the age of 65.
The Question
After 20-plus seasons, who is your all-time favorite “Law and Order” character? (Post your answer in the comment section below!)
Author’s pick: Det. Lennie Briscoe.
- Trump and Zelenskyy to Settle Differences at WrestleMania - February 23, 2025
- Slobovian President Set to Declare War Over Trump Tariffs and Inauguration Snub - February 18, 2025
- High Egg Prices Spawn First Billionaire Chicken - February 6, 2025
