White House takes control of press pool away from WHCA, saying it will now be under the direction of Dr. Joseph Goebbels.
Speaking to reporters “who have their minds right” at a press briefing in Washington D.C. on Tuesday, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced that “the White House Correspondents Association (WHCA) is hereby dissolved,” and will no longer control the White House press pool.
The WHCA has for years been responsible for overseeing the rotating group of news outlets who cover the president in Washington and on travels. “The WHCA,” shouted Leavitt angrily, “has been erased!”
WHCA president Eugene Daniels remarked that “this move tears at the independence of a free press… and in a free country, leaders must not be able to choose their own press corps.” Leavitt said that, “Future White House press will be under the direction of Dr. Joseph Goebbels.” Assisting Goebbels will be Humor Times Conservative Capitol Correspondent Llib Epot, who will bear the title “Minister of Corrective Correspondent Discipline.”
The hiring of Goebbels, a German national, comes two weeks after Trump disallowed the Associated Press into the White House press pool because of the AP’s decision not to use Trump’s name change of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America in its news coverage. Leavitt insisted there is more to it than that.
“The AP also refused to refer to President Trump as ‘Dear Leader;’ denied that Trump was the sexiest member of the human race; and unaccountably referred to Russia as the aggressor in the dust up with its territorial satellite, Ukraine.”
When the president travels, a 13-member press pool traditionally accompanies him. New rules stipulate that the pool be comprised of male representatives of Fox News, Breitbart and Steve Bannon’s War Room podcast. Additionally, female members will be allowed, but they must be “comely,” travel “in the buff” and sit in the aisle seats of Air Force One with their knees spread.
Additionally, Leavitt announced a Justice Department investigation of ABC, NBC, PBS and NPR, among other news outlets, for “evidence of diversity, equity and inclusion initiatives.” Said Leavitt, “we won’t tolerate any of that DEI shit, particularly diversity. After all,” she went on philosophically, “what’s the point of inclusion of you can’t keep most of the other people out?”
New York Times reporter Peter Baker, a former Moscow correspondent, told Leavitt that “this reminds me of how the Kremlin took over its own press pool and made sure that only compliant journalists were given access.” Having made his remarks, Baker was immediately escorted, at gun point, from the briefing room. A mysterious gun shot rang out, was followed by silence, and the press briefing continued.
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