President Trump is full of batshit crazy ideas, and his latest involves America’s National Parks.
By Donald A. Ranard, transcribed from the head of Donald Trump.

I donât like national parks. They donât do anything. Theyâre just there. BORING.
Letâs DO something with the parks. Resorts, hotels, luxury apartments. CASINOS!
Whatâs so wonderful about a park anyway? You go to a park, you look at a tree. Maybe you get bit by a BEAR.
Last year 1038 people got bit by BEARS. Most people donât know that. One of them got scalped. SAD! Now he wears a toupee.
There are parks that have pools with SHARKS in them. They call them amusement parks. You think thereâs something AMUSING about sharks? Get bit by a shark and see if itâs amusing.
And why do we even have parks? Iâll tell you why. SOCIALISM. Theyâre called state parks for a reason â because theyâre run by the STATE.
Another word for State is STAZI. Thatâs what they called the State in COMMUNIST countries. Most people donât know that.
Tremendous waste, fraud, and abuse in those STAZI parks. SAD!
Donald A. Ranard’s writing has appeared in Humor Times, The Atlantic, New World Writing Quarterly, The Los Angeles Review, 100 Word Story, The Best Travel Writing, and elsewhere. In 2022, his prose poem â5/25/22â was longlisted by Wigleaf as one of the year’s Top 50 Very Short Fictions and his one-act play, ELBOW. APPLE. CARPET. SADDLE. BUBBLE., placed second in a national playwriting contest.
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