Brewery Owners Talk Radio Interview - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Jen and Ben Dodge, No Life Brewery owners in Slenderville.

ANNOUNCER

From beautiful downtown Slenderville, Minnesota, it’s the Minnesota Nice Radio Show. And here’s your host Tommy Ellis.

Brewery Owners Tour — No Life Brewery owners give a tour. Photo: TJ Blackwell, CC BY-SA 3.0.

TOMMY ELLIS

Welcome to the show. Today my guests are Jen and Ben Dodge, the No Life Brewery owners in Slenderville.

TOMMY

Good mornin’, Jen and Ben.

JEN DODGE

How can it be a good mornin’? There’s a storm outside of town and I won’t get an Amazon delivery.

BEN DODGE

What’s you expectin’, honey?

JEN

A pair of Taylor Swift slippers.

BEN

That’s a relief. Cause I know only one of your legs would fit in her outfit.

JEN

Well, my legs ain’t as fat as your head.

TOMMY

Whoa Nellie!

BEN

Sorry. Wasn’t thinkin’ straight. Too much on my mind.

TOMMY

Like what?

BEN

Owe money to the IRS for my taxes. The business made $5,000 last year.

TOMMY

Wow. You’re rich! You must shop where the hoity-toity go like Sam’s Club.

JEN

(angry) Ben! You didn’t pay the estimates?!

BEN

Plum forgot.

JEN

Crap. You and a bottle of beer have somethin’ in common. You’re both empty from the neck up. There goes our vacation to International Falls. I ain’t forgivin ya!

TOMMY

Don’t worry. Rich folks like you don’t pay taxes anyway. Tell me how you two started the No Life Brewery. Best beer I ever drunk.

BEN

Me and Jen used to get drunk every day. One night we was havin’ a romantic evening at home. I said, “I love you so much, I could never live without you.”

JEN

And I said, “Is that you or the beer talkin’?

BEN

I smiled, ” It’s me talkin’ to the beer.” That’s when I knew we needed beer in our lives and for everyone in town. Dagnabbit, we got to work. Bought us a still. Heated up water with malt. Added hops, added yeast, then allowed the mixture to cool. Pretty simple.

TOMMY

I reckon’. But what makes your beer so darn tasty?

BEN

We add cow chips. That ain’t no bull.

JEN

Speakin’ of. You wanna hear a poop joke, Tommy?

TOMMY

Nah. They always stink. Hey, I know how they make Budweiser.

JEN

Tell me. Ignorant minds need to know.

TOMMY

Send him to school.

BEN

What proof do you have?

TOMMY

One-half percent alcohol. Jen and Ben Dodge. See ya tomorrow.

Minnesota Nice
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.