Measles Outbreak: RFK Jr 'Deadly Serious'

RFK Jr. has boldly led the way in support of egalitarianism and personal liberty in Americans’ fight against a measles outbreak.

Press Release from the Department of Health and Human Services: Kicking his critics to the curb, Secretary of the Department of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has boldly led the way in support of egalitarianism and personal liberty in Americans’ fight against a measles outbreak. Kennedy said he is “deadly serious” about his HHS responsibilities.

The number of confirmed measles cases rose to nearly 200, as of this writing. About 75% of these cases occurred in Texas. Occurences were also reported in California, New Jersey and three other states. The vast majority of measles cases occurred in people who were unvaccinated.

HHS Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has taken the bull by the horns, suggesting that people beware of proposed “vaccination schemes” and instead rely on an oral therapy of cod liver oil, a nutrient-rich elixir which contains both Vitamin A and Vitamin D.

Kennedy also advocates taking budesonide (a steroid prescribed for asthma). which is available as both an inhalant and as a capsule, in lieu of “submitting to a hasty measles injection.” Kennedy did note that he is inordinately fond of needles. NOTE: budesonide, like cod liver oil, is available on Trumpstore.com for a pittance.

The first measles vaccine debuted in 1963; the MMR application appeared in 1971 and has been responsible for preventing 2.3 million deaths, largely among infants, that once occurred annually. Since 2000, an estimated 60 million lives have been saved globally.

Kennedy acknowledges the efficacy of the measles vaccination, but notes that it is not without risk. In a press release from Kennedy’s office, he points out that there is a 1 in 1 million chance for a “severe untoward action” to the vaccine.

“Why take a chance when you don’t have to?” asked Kennedy rhetorically. “The chance of a person in Peoria being struck dead by an asteroid entering the atmosphere may be just 1 in 2.6 billion, but that one person will buy it.”

The HHS Secretary has long supported “alternate medicine,” which, like alternate facts, is on the short list of proposed Trump Administration mottos. HHS has proposed reintroducing Thalidomide, putting fentanyl in babies’ milk for restless infants, and putting radium back in wristwatch glow-in-the-dark dials.

Kennedy said he also sees some value in scientifically untested items like totems, talismans and wooden effigies, such as Burning Man. Regarding his general philosophical inclinations respecting medicines, therapies and in particular vaccinations, Kennedy quoted Macbeth:

“…eye of newt and toe of frog.
Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and cauldron bubble…”

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Bill Tope

Bill Tope is a retired (caseworker, cook, construction worker, nude model for art classes, and so on) who lives with his mean little cat Baby.