Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Spacejacked Slobovian Slobbonauts have returned to Earth, thanks to American Elon Musk’s Space X company.
Spacejacked Slobovian Slobbonauts Unda Major Colonel Fonda Woohooski, Upda Captain Dingdong
Gonadski and Whompofficer GoGo Hottpantzky have returned to Earth, thanks to American Elon Musk’s Space X company.
The Slobbonauts blasted off from the Cape Slobbo Rocket Garage in June of 2024, headed for the Nudnisky False Planet Moonfill. 16 hours into their flight they were spacejacked by famous deep space pirate Blachole Blackbeard.
They were held for ransom on an unlisted rain cloud on the outlaw planet Zardoc. Elon Musk negotiated their release by paying a ransom of 38 billion Slobovian Grubniks (about $437.89 American dollars) and 2 dozen Teslas. Tesla cars are a favorite snack of the Goomass Drome Eating system.
Questions have been raised because the trio of Slobbonauts returned with a newborn set of twins. The trio denies that sex was involved and that the conception was caused by overexposure to Negative Deep Space Convivial Static.
Dr. Lyinne Emeffe, author of the book Space Nookie, says that space static births on outer planets are quite common.
Special Breaking News
Get a 5 million dollar Golden Residency Card for only 18 payments of $277.777,77.
Breaking News
Lone Ranger to pass out eggs instead of silver bullets.
SNN Words to Live By
“The first order of government is the protection of it’s citizens.” — Judge Jeannine Pirro, Fox News Channel.
“Reality is a bummer.” — Wade Watts (Tye Sheridan), Ready Player One, 2018 film.
“Crime comes from poverty.” — Judge Mathis.
“You’ll never hear me meow cause I’m no pussy.” — Pro Wrestler Timeless Toni Storm.
The Question
What is something that you used to enjoy that is now financially unaffordable? (Answer in the comments below!)
Author’s Pick: I used to devour daily newspapers and magazines — now the Sunday New York Times is $6.00 and TV Guide, which I paid 15 cents for in 1957, is $6.99.
- Spacejacked ‘Slobbonauts’ Return from 9 Months in Outer Space with Twins - March 23, 2025
- World Rejoices as Elon Musk Fires Two Men Who Created Government Red Tape - March 14, 2025
- Global Financier Says Buy Eggs, Not Gold - March 4, 2025
