Revised Nursery Rhymes for the Toddlers in the Trump Administration

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Here are some revised nursery rhymes for Trump administration toddlers.

The Apple and the Worm

Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
(Health and Human Services)

I bit an apple
That had a worm.
I swallowed the apple,
I swallowed the worm.
I felt it squirming,
And then it fled
Wiggling and squiggling
Right into my head.

Trump toddlers
AI image created by Craiyon.

I’m a Little Rumpot

Pete Hegseth
(Defense Secretary)

I’m a little rumpot and a drunken lout.
Bring up my scandals,
And watch me pout.
When I get all steamed up,
You will hear me shout
As you grab my collar and throw me out.

Twinkle, Twinkle Border Czar

Tom Homan
(Director of Enforcement and Removal)

Twinkle, twinkle Border Czar,
How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high,
Like and ICE float in the sky.

Twinkle, twinkle Border Czar,
We know exactly who you are.
Born beneath the darkest star,
The world will cheer
When you’re behind bars.

Mr. Turkey

Mitch McConnell
(Former Republican House Minority Leader)

Mr. Turkey is a funny man,
He waddles and waddles as fast as he can.
His wings go out, his neck does, too.
Run Mr. Turkey,
Or you’ll soon be stew.

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom, I’m Going to the Moon

Jeff Bezos
(Amazon Billionaire)

Zoom, zoom, zoom,
I’m going to the moon.
Zoom, zoom, zoom,
I’ll be there very soon.
So, if you’d like to take a trip,
Just help me fund my rocket ship.
Zoom, zoom, zoom.
You’re going to the moon.
Zoom, zoom, zoom,
We’re happy it’s so soon.
And we all sincerely hope,
That you will be marooned.

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire

J.D. Vance
(Vice-President of the United States)

Liar, liar, pants on fire,
Stole your boxers from the dryer.
Turned them in and turned them out,
But couldn’t get the shit stains out.

Vultures, Vultures Everywhere

The Republicans

Vultures, Vultures everywhere,
In the Chamber with the Chair.
In the House and on the Floor,
None with backbones,
All spineless whores.

The Bogeyman

Russell Vought
(Director of Management and Budget)

Hush! Hush! Hush!
Here comes the Bogeyman!
Don’t let him come too close to you,
Or he’ll shoot you if he can.
And if you need to get a loan,
He’ll kill you in another way.
With interest rates 300%,
You’ll be dead before you pay.

The Wheels on the Tesla

Elon Musk
(Director of Government Efficiency)

The wheels on the Tesla go ’round and ’round,
‘Round and ’round, ’round and ’round.
The wheels on the Tesla go ’round’ and ’round,
Until our country goes to ground
And Elon Musk doth seize the crown.

Trumpty Dumpty

Donald Trump
(President of the United States)

Trumpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men,
Couldn’t put Trumpty together, amen.

Gail Mackenzie-Smith
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