Truck Driver Interview on Talk Radio - Dean Kaner, Humor Times

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host does a truck driver interview from Minnesota.

ANNOUNCER

From beautiful downtown Slenderville, Minnesota, it’s the Minnesota Nice Radio Show with a truck driver interview. And here’s your host Tommy Ellis.

TOMMY ELLIS

Good mornin’. I’m excited. Spring is here. Seen a Robin eatin’ a worm in my front yard. Everything was goin’ good until the bird pooped on my car. That’s when I gave him ‘the bird’ with my middle finger. But enough about me. Got a special guest. Her name is Polly Goiter. She’s a truck driver here in Slenderville.

How ya been, Polly?

Truck driver Polly — Photo: Patrice Raunet Hollywood, Public Domain.

POLLY GOITER

Pretty good, I reckon. Just got back from Fargo with a truck load of wheat. And to think my teacher told me I’d never amount to nothin’ starin’ out of a window.

TOMMY

I guess you showed her, huh?

POLLY

Damn straight. I can change a flat tire on a big rig. Now who’s the dummy?

TOMMY

Cool. But weren’t you recently a professional wrestler?

POLLY

Yep. They called me “The Diva Crusher.” I would make women wrestlers cry when I hit em’ over the head with a foldin’ chair or pulled out their hair. For shits and giggles, I swung em’ over my head and tossed em’ into the crowd.

TOMMY

That’s scary. I guess I never understood wrestling. Especially guys with no pants fightin’ for a belt.

POLLY

I’m over wrestling, Tommy. Diesel fuel floats my boat. Though there is a downside. When I’m drivin’ nonstop for 12 hours, I need to wear diapers.

TOMMY

Diapers?

POLLY

Shucks. Every time I cough or sneeze, my radiator leaks and my exhaust backfires.

TOMMY

Curious. What do you haul besides wheat?

POLLY

Potatoes, barley, oats, reindeer.

TOMMY

Reindeer?

POLLY

For Santa Claus. There’s more than one fat man in a red suit travelin’ on Christmas Eve. Think how many get stuck in chimneys.

TOMMY

Who’d ever thunk? You are a smart ignoramus.

POLLY

You betcha.

TOMMY

Knock. Knock. Who’s there?

Yukon.

POLLY

Yukon who?

TOMMY

Yukon say that again. Polly Goiter. See ya tomorrow.

Minnesota Nice
(c) Dean B. Kaner

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.