Faith Leaders: Coping with Trump - Otto Controle, Humor Times

Since Trump took the oath of office, faith leaders across the country have had to work overtime.

It’s been 61 days since Donald J. Trump took the oath of office, and faith leaders across the country are working overtime — partly in prayer, mostly in disbelief.

Faith leaders - Sermon On The Mount — Sermon on the Mount painting (cropped) by Carl Bloch, circa 1877, Public Domain.

Some are flipping through scripture looking for precedent, others are considering whether sackcloth and ashes might make a comeback. Across pulpits, synagogues, and mosques, a common question arises: How do you minister to a congregation when reality itself feels like an Old Testament warning?

From fiery calls to resist tyranny to begrudging prayers for patience (and fact-checkers), religious leaders are taking to their pulpits to make sense of a month that already feels like a biblical epic — one where the plagues arrive early, the golden calf tweets at 3 a.m., and the meek are too busy refreshing the news to inherit anything.

Here’s a collection of sermon titles that may or may not be appearing in a house of worship near you. Whether you’re seeking divine inspiration or just wondering if the Book of Revelations accidentally leaked into current events, these might help. Or at the very least, they’ll make you grateful that sermons still last under an hour.

“Holy Smokes: 30 Days of Trump and the Fires of Consequence”
If hellfire and brimstone sermons ever made a comeback, now would be the time.
“In the Beginning, There Was Chaos: A Month of Trump”
Genesis had darkness before light; we just have darkness and Twitter.
“Blessed Are the Fact-Checkers, for They Shall Inherit Migraines”
Jesus healed the sick, but even He couldn’t help PolitiFact at this point.
“Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Democracy (Unless You Can Rewrite the Rules)”
Democracy is sacred — unless you prefer it deregulated and available to the highest bidder.
“The Golden Rule… Except When Applied to Policy”
Treat others as you’d like to be treated — unless they disagree with you, in which case, call them losers.
“Pride Comes Before the Fall… and the Late-Night Twitter Rant”
If Proverbs taught us anything, it’s that unchecked arrogance usually ends in disaster — or at least an all-caps meltdown.
“Deliver Us from This News Cycle: Prayers for the Next 1,361 Days”
The Israelites wandered for 40 years, but at least they weren’t stuck watching cable news.
“Render Unto Caesar What Is Caesar’s, and Unto Trump What Is Left of Reason”
A reminder that taxes, tithes, and basic logic should remain separate from executive decision-making.
“Let There Be Light! (And Maybe Some Reading of the Constitution)”
God created light in a day; maybe we can get some enlightenment in four years.
“The Tower of Babel Had More Organization Than This Administration”
At least those builders had a plan, even if no one spoke the same language.
“Faith, Hope, and Executive Orders (But Mostly Executive Orders)”
Paul preached faith, hope, and love — Trump just hands out signed pieces of paper like confetti.
“The Gospel According to Sean Spicer: And Other Fictional Accounts”
Turns out, alternative facts are the new parables — except no one learns anything from them.
“Walls, Bans, and Other Things Jesus Would Not Have Done”
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be denied entry at customs.
“Heaven Helps Those Who Don’t Bankrupt Their Casinos”
A proverb for the modern age — if you can’t handle a business, maybe don’t run a country.
“The Ten Commandments, Now Available in 280 Characters or Less”
Thou shalt not lie — unless thou hast a WiFi connection and an itchy typing finger.
“Trump and the Burning Bush: But This Time, It’s Just the Constitution on Fire”
Moses got divine wisdom; we got tweets and cabinet reshuffles.
“Do Unto Others… Unless They’re a Federal Judge”
Somewhere, the Supreme Court is bracing for impact.
“Turning the Other Cheek, But Running Out of Patience”
Even Jesus might have side-eyed some of these press briefings.
“The Good Book vs. The Art of the Deal: A Comparative Study”
Spoiler: One emphasizes humility, and the other is a guide to making sure you always win.
“Job Had It Easy: Lessons in Suffering from the First 30 Days”
Job lost everything, but at least he didn’t have to hear “fake news” every five minutes.
“When God Closed a Door, Trump Built a Wall”
Doors were meant to open — unless you have steel slats and an ego problem.
“Jonah Survived the Whale, But Can We Survive the Next Press Conference?”
Jonah got spit out after three days; we’re stuck here for four years.
“The Book of Revelations or Just Another Cabinet Meeting?”
Beasts rising, strange omens, mass confusion — it’s either prophecy or Tuesday morning in D.C.
“The Sermon on the Mount, Now With More Twitter Feuds”
Blessed are the meek — unless they criticize policy, in which case, expect a subtweet.
“Forgive Us Our Trespasses, As We Debate Whether Facts Matter”
Pilate asked, “What is truth?” Today, the answer depends on which channel you watch.
“The Gospel of Self-Promotion: A Trumpian Study in Humility”
Jesus washed feet; Trump prefers to see his name in gold letters.
“By Their Fruit You Shall Know Them… Or By Their Approval Ratings”
The fig tree was cursed for bearing no fruit — what happens to a presidency that only bears scandals?
“Forty Days and Forty Nights in the Wilderness Sounds Nice Right About Now”
Moses had it rough, but at least he didn’t have to check Twitter every morning.
“The First Shall Be Last, Unless They’re Billionaires”
Jesus flipped tables in the temple; Trump just stacks them with tax cuts.
“Love Thy Neighbor… Unless They’re a Refugees
The Good Samaritan helped the stranger — modern policies prefer paperwork first.

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Otto Controle

Otto Controle is a fearless satirist, writer, and cultural critic who takes on politics with razor-sharp wit and relentless sarcasm. With a background spanning the arts, public service, and humanitarian work, Otto blends insight and humor to expose hypocrisy and challenge the status quo. Whether skewering the powerful or stirring the pot, Otto never pulls punches.