Hamish Holmes, Mycroft Goes Fishing and The Sign of Three Moriarties: My Predictions for Season Four of “Sherlock.”
The BBCâs “Sherlock” is among the most popular shows on TV, and there has been much speculation among die-hard fans like myself about what the upcoming fourth season will hold. Having consulted my own crystal ball, hereâs what I see happening:
Irene Adler turns up at 221B Baker Street with Sherlock’s baby, the result of some fun and games the two indulged in after Sherlock rescued her at the end of âA Scandal in Belgravia.â (It wasnât love, he was just passing the time while waiting for his coat to get back from the only good dry cleaners in Karachi, Pakistan). The baby is, of course, named Hamish Holmes. (And Sherlockâs âsafe word?â ââOopsy!â)
Adler falls madly in love with Johnâs philandering alcoholic sister Harry. (Irene quickly cures her drinking problem by smacking her with a whip and yelling âdrop it!â whenever Harry picks up a drink.) They wed and raise the baby together.
Moriarty turns out to be just one of a set of triplets, all of whom are named Jim, and only one of whom blew his brains out at the end of âThe Reichenbach Fall.â (One down, two to goâŠ)
Scotland Yard decides to save a lot of time and trouble and just investigate anybody Molly Hooper falls in love with, since they all turn out to be dangerous sociopaths.
Mary Watson gives birth to a girl, whom she and John name Sherlockia (In Season 27 of âSherlock,â she and Hamish Holmes will fall in love.) The only glitch? Mary assassinates her ob-gyn when he doesnât give her an epidural quickly enough.
Lestrade comes out and becomes Mycroftâs âgoldfish.â
Hilarity ensues when Sherlock babysits for babies Hamish and Sherlockia. After he finally gets them down for a nap, he relaxes by analyzing the spit-up from their binkies under a microscope.
Mrs. Hudson, unable to rent out 223C Baker Street, decides to restart her ex-husbandâs drug cartel and run it from there, making it all too convenient for Sherlock to get the occasional morphine fix.
After Jim Moriarty2 kidnaps their baby, John and Mary track him down and take turns assassinating him.
Moriarty, Sherlock and Irene Adler start a âSherlock Characters Who Fake Their Own Deaths Too Muchâ support group.
John and Sherlock are taken hostage by a devoted fan who insists that theyâre a couple and forces them to go through with a gay wedding, but as theyâre standing at the alter, about to take their vows, Mary tracks the fan down and assassinates him.
In a terrific viewer-grabbing crossover episode, Sherlock, the Doctor and Batman all give their sidekicks the day off and solve crimes together, racing to a variety of crime scenes in London cabs, the Tardis and the Batmobile.
Because âthe canonâ requires that Mary Watson die of a mysterious illness, Mary steals the Tardis, travels back in time and assassinates Sir Arthur Conan Doyle before he can write that plot point.
Molly Hooper and Janine start a âWomen Who Love Sherlock Too Muchâ support group. Millions of fans sign up.
But seriously? Steven Moffatt and Mark Gatiss are going to come up with a Season Four thatâs way better than anything I could imagine. And this fan canât wait.
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