But Fox News’ Megyn Kelly supporters cry foul
NEW YORK â Donald Trump announced today that he had âforced Fox News to its cowardly knees,â after signing a ânon-nuclearâ TV pact with the companyâs president, Roger Ailes.
Under the deal, Fox will continue to broadcast every narcissistic, bombastic and self-aggrandizing remark Trump utters, no matter how dishonest, deceitful and factually incorrect.

âWhile, on my side,â the megalomaniac mogul noted, âI have agreed to let Megyn Kelly keep her pathetic little job.â
Trump noted additionally that for the next 15 years Kelly âwill have to wear an Iâm a Bimbo! button stating âI was Nearly Fired! / And you too, Univision!â
He went on: âAlso sheâll have to stop asking those mainstream, liberal-media type questions, like what exactly am I going to do when Iâm president? Listen, we just gotta get rid of all them rapist, murdering, brown guys coming here to have their angry babies.â
âWhat? Alright, anchor babies, whatever,â he said. âThe main thing is, after Iâm elected, Iâll figure out how. Itâs a management problem, so Iâll hire a couple of consultants. But first Iâve gotta get elected by stirring up racism, fear and xenophobia. I’m gonna make your head spin, trust me.â
Trump took off his red baseball cap, toupee lifting slightly. âI liked The Kelly File better without her,” he said. “Perhaps she could take another eleven daysâ vacation.â He added: âThe bimbo looks like Nancy Grace, I mean Rose OâDonnell.â
Meanwhile, 47 of Kellyâs Fox News friends and supporters, including Bret Baier, Bill Hemmer, and Dana Perino, have sent a letter to Foxâs advertisers promising that the Trump agreement would not be honored by any conceivable successor to the 74-year old Ailes.
âHow much longer do you think heâs going to be around?â the letter demands, adding that advertisers donât understand the legal subtleties of the networkâs constitution.
âWe have self-evident, inalienable rights,â the writers say, “including fame, ratings and the pursuit of money. As a result, Trump now has unfettered access to all of Fox Newsâ programs with no inspections or pre-conditions. Heâll be able to unload his verbal nuclear bombs on the American public whenever he likes. Even Mr Netanyahu is worried.â
The letter continues: âThe fact that Megyn Kelly will be paid $150 billion over the next ten years doesnât make her humiliation any easier to bear.â
âOh yes, it does,â Kelly quickly responded, adding that for âeven lessâ sheâd be willing to bleed from her eyes or wherever. âCheck out my Anchor Babe Button,â she smiled. âAnd donât forget Iâm barely to the left of Ann Coulter.â
Cynical observers, however, have noted that the âphony warâ sniping between Trump and Kelly may just be hype for a second interview between the two that could be ratings magic.
âItâll beat Bobby Rigs and Billy Jean King by a mathematical power,â said TV pundit, Rumple Foreskin. âI hear theyâve even got Viagra, Cialis, and some soft porn for the Ted Nugent crowd already lined up.â
[Editorâs Note: Asked about Sen. Bernie Sanders and the nearly quarter-million Americans who have attended his meetings throughout the country, and the over 100,000 planning to attend his DC rally in October, Fox News’ Mr Ailes and the heads of CBS, NBC and CNN all responded: âBernie who?â]