Humor Times Editorial

The day I ran into Karl Rove and Robert Kennedy, Jr. (separately)

OK, I didn’t actually meet them both. Or either one of them. But I did get to within 20-30 feet of them. And no, they weren’t together. I don’t think they’re best buds. Well, here’s how it happened…

Through the local email grapevine, I learned that the infamous Karl Rove, aka “Bush’s Brain” aka “Fear-mongering, truth-twisting, congressional subpoena-avoiding, sewer-residing dirty-trickster,” would be speaking at the Sacramento Convention Center in downtown Sacramento for the Sacramento Metro Chamber’s annual public affairs forum, “Perspectives.” As it turned out, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., Deepak Chopra and even funny man Frank Caliendo were invited, although I didn’t know that when I headed down there.

An informal gathering of like-minded people representing various groups showed up to demonstrate for the arrest of ol‘ Turd Blossom, as the prez is said to call him, for his unlawful refusal to obey a congressional subpoena and show up to testify. Why he, or anyone, is allowed to get away with this, I don’t know. He’s clearly flaunting the law, but as a former member of the Bush administration, I guess he’s above the law. Don’t you know? They all are, especially the Law-Breaker-in-Chief, George W. himself.

Anyway, this small band of citizens – who happen to still believe this is a nation of laws – showed up with signs and Rove masks and stood on the corner, supported by honking citizens driving by on their way to and from lunch breaks, etc. (I think we would have had a bigger group, except that it was on a Friday morning, lasting until one o’clock.) At one point, I donned a Karl Rove mask and a Code Pink woman in a cop’s costume (with a pink shirt, of course), handcuffed me as cameras flashed in a bit of street theater. Our message was serious, but hey, you’ve got to have a little fun while you’re at it.

Later, as we were getting ready to pack up the signs and leave, Mr. Kennedy came jogging up the sidewalk flanked by a couple cops and ran into the building. Why he didn’t go in the back through the VIP entrance, I don’t know. It happened so fast, no one had time to say anything to him, and I missed by big chance to give him a copy of the Humor Times. But it was cool to see him that close and in person, as he is one of my heroes, a tireless worker for environmental issues and a fine writer.

After we said our goodbyes, I hopped on my bike and started heading home. I only got halfway down the front of the convention center building when all the traffic was suddenly stopped by the police. I rode up to the front of the traffic, and was told to stop there. A silver sedan of some kind was sitting there in a little-used driveway coming from around the center, waiting for some VIP or another. I figured it couldn’t be anyone too big, since it wasn’t a big black limousine. But then, Karl Rove himself came waltzing up, was escorted into the car, and they drove away.

He was within about 30 feet, too far to spit. Besides, all those cops… you know, probably would not have turned out well for me. I only saw him for a second, and he was in the car, so I didn’t even have time to yell anything. But I was struck by how small and human he looked. The guy is larger than life in the American psyche, but he’s just a small balding man. Just another American citizen. Who should be locked up, stripped of his citizenship, and sent to Guantanamo. Ok, I don’t really believe that, because I believe we really ought to stick with the good ol‘ Constitution. However, if they ARE going to indefinitely detain people, then those who help start illegal, immoral and devastating wars, strip us of our Constitutional rights, spy on us, drive our world standing and our economy into the ground and try to elevate an egotistical blockhead into a king are good candidates.

At the very least, lock him up for Contempt of Congress!

James Israel
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