Scandal Worsens: Trump Campaign Accused of Mein Kampf Plagiarism

Historians outraged: ‘Mein Kampf plagiarism a clear violation of international copyright standards.’

CLEVELAND – The Trump plagiarism scandal intensified yesterday as top historians accused the family patriarch Himself of shoplifting most of His ideas from Adolf Hitler’s Mein Kampf.

On Monday, His wife Melania was accused of plagiarizing her speech from Michelle Obama. On Tuesday, His son Donald Jr. was accused of plagiarizing his speech from an article by F.H. Buckley in The American Conservative.

Now a “Gang of Five” famous historians, led by Lincoln biographer Doris Kearns Goodwin, is accusing The Donald Himself of “a clear violation of international copyright standards” by basing his entire political strategy on a textbook execution of Hitler’s Mein Kampf.

“It’s well-known that Der Donald keeps a copy on his nightstand,” said Ms Goodwin at a press conference. “He even capitalizes pronouns referring to Himself in all His literature, like Hitler did. The copyright violations are simply intolerable and must be stopped, or we’re all doomed.”

Ms Goodwin added, “Where Hitler deliberately inflamed passions against Jews, Gypsies and homosexuals, Trump inflames passions against Muslims, Mexicans and homosexuals.”

She pointed out that also like Hitler, Trump’s program boils down to a few deliberately iconic symbols: the red baseball hat, “Make America Great Again,” and His mop of distinctive hair, as instantly recognizable as Der Fuhrer’s toothbrush mustache.

“Also there’s a kind of sexual subtext. Hitler only had one ball and Trump only has his stubby little fingers, if you know what I mean.”

Ms Goodwin noted that the world and civilization had in fact survived Hitler.

“Still, would we have gotten this far,” she wondered, “if in 1939 Germany had access to nuclear missiles and the ability to launch them at a second’s notice?”

The famed historian laughed mirthlessly. “It looks like we are all about to find out,” she said.

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Michael Egan

Michael was born in South Africa at the height of the apartheid era He quickly became involved in the underground resistance movement, knew Nelson Mandela and other prominent revolutionaries, some of whom later moved into privileged positions formerly occupied by whites. After several exciting escapes, he was forced to flee the country in disguise. He successfully made his way to the UK and gained his PhD at Cambridge on a university scholarship, He then pursued the dualcareer of college professor and social revolutionary, provoking academic and political mayhemwherever he went. Having thus failed miserably at both politics and education, he now cynically rails like Diogenes at the foibles of mankind in bitter satires and faintly subtly edgy political cartoons. History will, however absolve him. In 2006 he discovered a new Shakespeare play, but it's going to take a new generation to acknowledge it. Check out his website, Editorial and Political Cartoons.