The 2016 Presidential Election: It Could Be Worse

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We love to complain about the candidates we have for the 2016 election, but it could be much worse.

As much as we bitch about the weak selection of candidates we have for the presidential election at the moment, we should pause and reflect on how much worse it could be. What if the following had been had been nominated…

election, ted nugent, rod blagojevich-Ted Nugent, Republican (aka ‘The Motor City Madman,’ running on a platform of “Shoot everything that moves.”) versus Rod Blagojevich, Democrat (“How much would you give me for this seat?”)

Dennis Hastert, Republican (“Come here, little boy! I’ve got something special for you!”) versus Jesse Jackson Jr. (“I don’t know where that money went. There is a big hole in my pocket!”)

Richard Nixon (aka ‘Tricky Dicky’ — “Let me make one thing perfectly unclear — I am not a crook!”) versus Wade Sanders, Democrat (“Now, just how did those dirty pictures get on my computer I wonder?”)

George Ryan, Republican (former Illinois governor, which is about the same as being a mafia godfather, now incarcerated) versus Huey Long, Democrat (He who would be King.)

‘Scooter’ Libby, Republican (“Women shouldn’t be in the CIA anyway!”) versus Aaron Burr, Democrat (A hotshot in the truest sense of the word.)

Scott Bloch, Republican (Second only to Nixon in the talent to erase tape and computer evidence.) versus Anthony Weiner, Democrat (The name says all there is to know about him.)

Edwin Edwards, Democrat (Wal, hello! Ya’ll got sum money fur me?) versus Budd Dwyer, Republican… oh wait, he shot himself during sentencing for corruption… forget it…

Jack Abramoff, Republican (“I never met a dollar I didn’t like!”) versus Boss Tweed, Democrat (Proof that cockroaches can evolve.)

Vladimir Putin, Republican (‘Dragging Russia back to the Czarist times screaming and kicking.”) versus Rasputin, Democrat (“Look what unabated, non marital sex did for Clinton’s fame.”)

Darth Vader, Republican (“Just look on the Dark Side of life! Do, da do, da do, da do,da do da do…”) versus Mr. Spock, Democrat (“Evil is so illogical.”)

God, Republican (“Do as I say, not as I do!”) versus Jesus Christ, Democrat (“Oh Dad, just mellow out a bit!”)

Roger Freed
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