Election Editorial: Leaky Boat - James Israel, Humor Times

Plug the leak and get us to shore before we all sink! An election editorial.

In my humble opinion, people who say they’re not voting for anyone for president, or will only vote for a third party candidate, are like people aboard a leaky ship that’s sinking.

There are four pieces of wood available to plug the round hole leak. Two are not big enough, but are quality wood, one is square and rotten to the core, and the other is not the best quality wood, but it’s round and fits, though perhaps not perfectly. However, it will buy the crew time to get to shore, where they can rebuild the creaky old boat — or fashion a new one that could take us into the future safely and with dignity.

To me, it’s like these well-meaning folks are saying, “I’m not for using either of those plugs to plug the leak, because they’re not a permanent fix, I’m for using one of these small ones, because they’re the kind of wood I want to repair the ship.”

It’s a democratic ship, of course, and so the crew votes. 40% vote for the square peg, because they like squares, presumably. 3% vote for one of the small pegs, 9% vote for the other. 10% refuse to vote, not liking the choices. So only 38% are left to vote for the peg that will get us ashore, where we can build the type of ship we really want.

So, the ship sinks. But the drowning abstainers are proud of themselves — they stuck to their principles, and are so much better than us lousy compromisers!

Glug, glug.

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James Israel

The Humor Times founder/publisher/editor/writer may wear a lot of hats, but he likes it that way. Still, his favorite job is writing fake news articles. He is also a musician and songwriter, who plays guitar, mandolin and harmonica, with several CDs to his credit.

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