‘Have you idiots learned nothing? America, your Munich is today. Stop Trump now or prepare for civil war! This is not a drill!’ – Churchill
HEAVEN’S GATE — Speaking directly from the right-hand of God, former British prime minister and World War II superhero, Sir Winston Churchill, last night thunderously denounced the âphony electionâ of Donald Trump to the U.S. presidency.
âHave you idiots learned nothing?â Sir Winston thundered via GoogleSeance satellite, brandishing his fist. âHitler also came to power ‘legally.’â
He went on: âWhat, did the millions of us up here, the so-called Greatest Generation, endure all that blood, toil, sweat and tears defeating Hitler and Mussolini so that you, our worthless children and grandchildren, could give it all away again? And to that?â
He gestured contemptuously at a picture of Donald Trump grabbing a pussy. âNever have so many given up so much for so little,â he said angrily.
âAnyone can see your presidential election was rigged. Hillary won the most votes, by far, but Donald gained the prize. Thatâs not government of the people by the people.
âIn other words, the outcome was fixed, and let me tell you from up here we could see that it was. It was a horrible thing to watch. Jesus and all the angels are still weeping.â
The great man took a puff from his eternally lit cigar. âNot me, though,â he said in his gravelly growl.
âWake up, America! Your Munich is now! Strangle the babe before it grows into a man, Today itâs 1938, the tipping point.
âAfter heâs sworn in, youâll be fighting against the whole US government and the presidency itself.
âNow at least heâs still just president-elect. It will be a nasty fight but not nearly as nasty as when heâs President for Life. Donât think it couldnât happen!â
Churchill clamped his cigar between his teeth and gave his distinctive V for Victory gesture.
âAnnounce that the rigged election is void! Let Obama declare martial law, if necessary. Trump is a national emergency â indeed, a world emergency. This may sound extreme but itâs nothing compared to what will come later if you donât.
âYes, Humanity, once more I am vox clamatis in deserto, the voice crying in the wilderness. But remember I was right before and now sit at the right hand of God. Or at least pretty close.â
As the heavenly signal wavered, Churchill added: âDefend your freedoms, whatever the cost may be! Fight Fascism on the beaches, in the streets and in the air!â
His voice and image fading, Churchillâs last words rang out like a commandment from God Almighty himself:
âNever Surrender!â