This White House intruder was a little confused
“A White House intruder was wearing a red tie, ruddy complexion & fright wig. And, had a golf bag with him.”
Actually, Trump wasn’t on his way in — he was escaping!
When apprehended, he looked disoriented and was throwing shredded Obamacare confetti over Michelle’s vegetable garden.
I take that back — he looked normal.
When cuffed, he kept on repeating, “It was Obama’s fault — he left the gate open!”
Under his breath he mumbled, “What does he know — in Africa they don’t have gates — wide open.”
“What did you say?”
“I said, I was only going 60 officer.”
“Do you know where you are, sir?”
“On the 18th hole?”
“You’re in your 2nd month of office as President.”
“Well, I know I’m on somebody’s lawn.”
The bigger news story is — what are the odds Trump was at the White House and not on one of his mini-vacation sleep-aways?
But have no fear — Speaker Paul Ryan & Mitch McConnell are on the committee to search for a committee to vett a committee — and they’ll get to the bottom of this!
What’s amazing about catching this intruder in captivity is this wasn’t one of Trump’s imaginary tweets — it was a real forgotten man with unknown political affiliation who wanted to chat with his leader at 12 midnight.
“What color was he?” Trump asked the Secret Service.
“White with a little Blusher,” Bob said.
“You shoulda let him in — I have Revlon samples.”
“No, we have to interrogate him & put him on our watch list.”
“Well, it’s my way now — bring him in — I’m lonely.”
“Melania’s friend-time, sir?”
“How did you know?”
“We know what you eat, drink, how many times a night you go pee & Putin’s email address.”
“Me too!”
- ‘Bacon in Every BLT!’ Campaign Promise Makes Pigs Nervous - November 15, 2024
- SHOCK Treatment: Top 10 Election Day Remedies to Snap Out of It! - November 7, 2024
- Top 10 Phallicies About Arnold Palmer! - October 30, 2024
