Bookmarks from Hell: A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Recently Found in Library Books

Stuff you don’t usually find in library books, and definitely don’t want to.

A dead frog
A used band-aid
A squashed and leaking Ketchup packet
Bedbugs
A tampon
Toe nail clippings
Dozens of baby roaches
A slice of bacon
Boogers
A used Q-Tip
A used condom (and it was in a Bible!)
A grilled cheese sandwich
Dental Floss
Used Kleenex
Toilet Paper (and this happens ALL the time)
Pubic hair
An ad for lap dances (in a children’s book!)
Questionable food stains
A dirty diaper
Pornographic photos
A slice of bologna

Attention library patrons! The next time you’re tempted to mark your place in one of our books with insects, snacks, porn or anything that used to be part of your body? Please do us library workers a big favor and JUST DOG-EAR THE @#$% PAGE!

(Roz Warren is the author of Our Bodies Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider Looks At Library Life.)

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Roz Warren

Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.