Silent Noodles, Swimming Pools and the ACLU: What I Learned from Magazines this Week

Among the wisdom dispensed by magazines this week are these gems:

The correct term for mobile phone separation anxiety is nomophobia.
(Time. 9/4/17)

Henry David Thoreau was fond of belting out sea shanties at parties.
(The New Yorker, 9/4/17)

The best way to befriend famous people is to have no idea who they are.
(New York, 10/16/17)

A Japanese company has developed a noise-cancelling fork that masks the sound of noodle slurping.
Time (11/16/17)

Only 2% of the world’s population have naturally blond hair.
(New York, 8/7/17)

Beyonce’s new house has 4 swimming pools.
(People, 9/4/17)

More than two thirds of American women are size 14 or larger.
(New York, 8/7/17)

We are living in a world full of assholes.
(New York, 9/18)

Ed Droste, founding member of the indy group Grizzly Bear, has LOL tattooed on his butt.
(Out, 8/17)

Bob Dylan once said that hearing Elvis for the first time was like busting out of jail.
(Time, 8/21/17)

ACLU membership has quadrupled since Trump’s election.
(Out, 8/17)

(Roz Warren is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library, both of which you should buy immediately.)

Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.