Ben Carson Examines Trump on MLK Day - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

Ben Carson weighs in on the president’s mental health with a surprise diagnosis!

Donald Trump:

“I’m here today — not because I want to deflect on my shitstorm yesterday; but to get behind me — the Martin Luther Vandross birthday thingy. Oh, sorry — King… here King!

What difference does it make anyway — they all look ali… (stop poking me in the ribs, Pence).

Sorry folks, but Omarosa couldn’t make it in today — the sniffles. Yes, it’s going around.

Oh, there’s Frederick Douglass — you’re still doing an amazing job! Worked with him all week!

And, I gotta say, I did see “Roots” & just like clockwork orange — every 2 weeks it gets colored!

And, finally & not a moment too soon… here’s our own Toby Carson — our HUD maven; who took the time to come down here this morning — even with Foreclosures waiting!”

Ben Carson:

“Thank you. Let us pray — sorry, wrong day.

As a Surgeon of precise precision, I’m here to say after our President’s Exam today — who would’ve thought…

…Tourettes!

Adult on-set, I might add. But, so easy to cure! I don’t want to brag, but it was my diagnosis and I volunteered to take the heat and all the swearing.

Under my supervision — we had him holding his breath, drinking water real fast & then scaring him with a Mueller Halloween Mask!

We even tried Soap in his mouth, no TV & no Twitter. ‘Time-Out’ is ridiculous — from 8 am to 11 am — he’s already doing it!

All I can say is — we doctors have patients — if you do! A little bed-side humor just to keep my license current.

Now that that’s settled; let’s concentrate on America’s holidays — Martin Luther King’s Birthday this month & in February, “President’s Day” celebrating all U.S. Presidents past & present — even those with no collusion!

Yes, it’s been 50 years since Dr. King passed & even though Reagan signed the Federal Holiday into law in 1983 – our President just inked a Proclamation that’ll get him bragging rights, 20% Equity & 50 cents in Perpetuity for Admission to King’s birth place & burial site in the Trump/King National Park in Georgia!

And, for all you rabid media hounds, I can now report — Trump did in fact, have a Prostate Exam — but sorry to say — we’ll have to pull out the Mueller Mask again!”

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha