Lawyered Up & Liquored Down at Probe Central

A proud non-drinker, our president likes his Diet Coke

It’s amazing! How is it possible that a president could get thru the white-hot Russia Probe without Stormy… I mean JACK Daniels?

But, no — a proud non-drinker, our president likes his Diet Coke — NEAT!

Sexual Assault accusers, Miss Universe peeper, Porn Star, Playboy Playmate — yet never touched the Bottle or Sarah Huckabee Sanders! Umm.

Ever since George Washington — there’s always been an Open Bar at the White House just waiting for a cork to pop — instead, Teetotaler Donald Trump wets his fingers & plays “Lady of Spain” on the Wine glasses!

There are scant few past Presidents who didn’t drink alcohol — William Taft is one — but wouldn’t you know it; he got stuck in his own bathtub drinkin’ Tea!

But, Trump makes up for it with other vices; but failed to make it into the pages of the 2014 tongue-in-cheek book, “Party Like a President” — unless there’s a sequel.

On the other hand, since Trump’s Presidency will surely be annulled; the history books may have a few blank pages from 2017-2018 — but please Mueller; no more than that!

Okay, for all you die hard supporters; I’m sure at the very least; he’ll get an asterisk.

* “It not only rained on Trump’s Grand Arsenal Parade down Pennsylvania Avenue — his hair got frizzy.”

Okay, he’ll always have ‘The Wall’ – if you like it in slabs — one in Nogales, one in Laredo, Tijuana, Zapata & one even landed in Cleveland!

But, Trump quickly tweeted, “You can never be too sure”!

But, that’s what Lawyers are for & there’s so many in the White House; they’re convicting each other just to keep busy! Twice, they held Trump in Contempt & Sequestered Melania!

I don’t care what anyone says; it’s a bad sign when lawyers hire their own lawyers — c’mon…no one has a lawyer present when you pardon the Thanksgiving Turkey!

Personally, I think Mueller will throw the book at him after he cracks with a Nolo Contendere ‘Admission-of-Gelt’ at trial…

…that’s when Devin Nunes runs up to the Judge in a * Second-hand Brown & White Rental Tux & says,

“Youse wait… I have one more Memo”!

* If you didn’t see “My Cousin Vinny” — go rent it — everything but a Bloody Glove!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha