From Bacon to Meth: The World's Weirdest Bookmarks

The weirdest ‘bookmarks’ librarians have found tucked into returned library material.

When you work in a library, you soon learn that patrons can make use of some rather unlikely things to mark their places as they read, which they’ll often forget to remove when the books come back. For instance? Here’s a list of “bookmarks” librarians have recently found tucked into returned library material:

Chunk of cat fur.
Deed to a cemetery plot
Slice of bacon
Squirrel tail
Colonoscopy photo
Bag of meth
Nude pics of a patron (We all recognized him!)
Joint
Slice of cheese
Razor blade
Thong
Toenail clippings
Corn cob
Teeth
Cash
85 year old tram ticket
KKK propaganda pamphlets
Frog
Bullet
Credit Card
Used Q-Tip
Cheese Quesadilla
Half-eaten slice of pizza inside a blown-up condom.

I wonder what the story behind that particular combo was. On second thought — I probably don’t want to know. In any event, the next time you return your books to the library? Make sure you take the squirrel tail out first. But you can leave the cash. Better yet? Use a large check payable to the library for a book mark, and leave it in the book when it comes back. We can always use the funding.

(Roz Warren is the curator of the Library Laughs Facebook Page and author of OUR BODIES, OUR SHELVES: A COLLECTION OF LIBRARY HUMOR.)

Author
Recent Posts

Roz Warren

Roz Warren Roz is the author of Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library and Our Bodies, Our Shelves: A Collection Of Library Humor. She writes for The New York Times and The Funny Times. Her work also appears in Good Housekeeping, The Christian Science Monitor, The Philadelphia Inquirer and of course, the Humor Times. Connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter or visit her website.