What’s your sign? Check out your Funny Horoscope November 2018, and the outlook for all those jerks you know, right here!
What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong. Just in case, here’s your Funny Horoscope November 2018. Be sure to share your friends’ snarky outlooks with them, too! (Check out past funny horoscopes here.)
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Aries: Give thanks that you have friends and family who understand you’re not always right. |
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Taurus: Be thankful for anything other than Holiday binge eating… Anything at all. |
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Gemini: You should be thankful you’re witty and charming enough for anyone to tolerate your fickle duality. |
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Cancer: Be thankful for your soft innards: they have Omega 3 Fatty Acids that are proven to improve overall health and well being. |
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Leo: Thank your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances, and strangers for feeding your pride. |
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Virgo: The universe understands it’s very difficult for you to feel thankful… just remember that apathy and analysis won’t change a damn thing. |
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Libra: It’s okay: you can be grateful for being beautiful, so long as you’re not relying on botox, oxys, and air brush to cope with Cover Girl commercials. |
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Scorpio: Happy Birthday Scorpions! When someone trusts you at all, be very thankful – because like a political organization, no one really knows what the hell is going on with you. |
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Sagittarius: You have a wonderful way of being thankful for your accomplishments. Just remember that no matter what memes tell you, the successes of others are not an affront to yours. |
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Capricorn: There may be no reference point for it in popular culture or politics, but go ahead and give thanks for that one time you did something no one expected. |
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Aquarius: The next time you feel grateful you have access to boujee parks for your dog to poop, remember that sex trafficking and suicide is still rampant. |
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Pisces: Float around and feel thankful and hateful for everything and nothing, like you usually do. |
Jennifer Hollie Bowles is a writer and small business owner.She has been studying Astrology for about twenty years, but she finds limiting it to sun signs quite humorous.
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