Germaphobe: Trump is No King Midas - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

As the germaphobe Trump always says about the Mueller Report: ‘My hands are clean!’

No, you never see Donald Trump the germaphobe touching his money!

That’s right – first he has it laundered!

Nor does he roll around in bed in it!

But enough about me! ha ha

Everyone knows money is filthy – so Trump’s happy just to know he’s a billionaire on paper!

This way, he doesn’t have to actually count his own money – his Jester is also his Accountant – one of those people Senator Kamala Harris talks about ‘having more than 2 jobs’!

It’s no surprise Trump’s called ‘The Purell President’ & hates shaking hands – he has a dispenser in every room of the White House & all his Golf Courses have a Ball Washer!

With some exceptions, of course…

I know I’m not the only one who can’t understand the irony: Trump ‘can’t stop kissing them’ quote on the Access Hollywood Tape & the roll in the…hey, she’s a Porn Star – yet it’s the hands that get all the protection!

And, phobia-wise; it’s common knowledge that all the un-well outcasts are shunned around him: for the Hackers, he has ‘Fisherman’ Cough Drops & then are swiftly thrown down the dumb waiter.

The cough heard ’round the world?

Mike Mulvaney, (Acting Everything) coughed during George Stephanopoulos‘ infamous Oval Office interview with Trump.

He didn’t have a frog in his throat – he was trying to warn Trump not to talk anymore about his Tax Returns.

On any given day, there’s so many things Trump is warned not to talk about; that sometimes the coughing cacophony can be heard as far as the Lincoln Memorial & I hear Abe stood up once to see what the heck was going on!

But, everything about Donald Trump is a contradiction or oxymoron – depending what his latest wife calls him; so I’m not gonna get my pants in a bunch over him…

I’m gonna stay in tonight & watch ‘Election Night’ in reverse & roll some nickels with Rubber Gloves, of course!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha