The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Congresswoman Ocasio-Cortez & The Trumpster

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and President Donald Trump.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guests are New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and President Donald Trump.

TRUMP

Go back to the country where you came from, Cortez.

CORTEZ

I’m from the Bronx, you moron!

TRUMP

Yeah. Da Bronx, where only one in ten residents have less than seven kids.

CORTEZ

Eres un pendejo!

TRUMP

Speak English. What did you say?

CORTEZ

You are an asshole!

TRUMP

Really? You’re so sad that even Bob the Builder can’t fix you.

JERRY

Trumpster. You were reprimanded by Congress, because your Tweets were racist. You said “The Squad” of four progressive Democratic Congresswomen of color, including Ocasio-Cortez should go back to their crime infested countries. That they hate America.

TRUMP

Fake news. I said “counties.” The tape was edited. I’m the least racist person you ever met.

CORTEZ

That’s a lie.

TRUMP

What’s the big deal? If a Black person, a Asian and a Hispanic get evicted from one my apartment buildings, who wins? Society.

CORTEZ

Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your wife stinks, and so do you.
Racist!

JERRY

Let me switch subjects, Congresswoman. You have been feuding with Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Accusing her of singling out minority women in the House, because they disagree with her views.

TRUMP

Nancy Pelosi is not a racist.

CORTEZ

Well excuuuuuse me, Bandito.

JERRY

Continue my little hummingbird.

CORTEZ

She’s got old ideas. Like not wanting to impeach Trump in spite of evidence that he colluded with the Russians during the 2016 Presidential campaign and obstructed justice.

TRUMP

No collusion. No obstruction.

CORTEZ

Please shut up, Trump. I’m off the clock and refuse to listen to you for free.

CORTEZ

Get with the program, Pelosi. It’s 2019, not 1979. “The Squad” is going to kick your butt out of the House leadership.

JERRY

You’ve been on the covers of Time and Rolling Stone.

CORTEZ

Aren’t I beautiful? Hey, Vogue and Glamour. Call me.

TRUMP

She’s a publicity hound.

CORTEZ

I’m sitting here looking at the most amazing person I have ever seen. Smart, funny, caring and absolutely stunning. Yes, I am looking in the mirror.

JERRY

What Democratic candidate do you support for 2020?

TRUMP

I bet Cortez likes Kamala Harris. I don’t know if Kamala should go back to Jamaica or India. Let me think about it before my next insult.

CORTEZ

I speak for my myself, Orange Slush. I like Elizabeth Warren. She’s tough on Wall Street and K Street.

JERRY

Trumpster. Do you know what K Street is?

TRUMP

Isn’t that where prostitutes hang out?

JERRY

Yeah. They’re called lobbyists.

CORTEZ

Your homies, Trump. The NRA.

TRUMP

Never heard of them.

CORTEZ

Exxon Mobil.

TRUMP

I use Chevron.

CORTEZ

General Electric.

TRUMP

Not a fan.

CORTEZ

Boeing.

TRUMP

Lots of accidents. Lots of accidents.

JERRY

Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list, Trumpster. See you tomorrow everyone.

Author
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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.