Donald Trump to Divorce Melania, Elope with Nancy Pelosi

Intercepted communique reveals president’s plans to elope with Nancy Pelosi.

An intercepted communique from the Schnotzelvakain Secret Service revealed a scenario in which current United States President Donald Trump is planning to divorce his wife Melania and elope to Schnotzelvakia with political rival and secret squeeze Nancy Pelosi.

Plans call for the President and Mrs. Pelosi to secretly fly from Dubuque, Iowa to the famed resort city of Rhoxxbhutty, Schnotzelvakia. Dubuque was chosen because there is a feeling that the American Secret Service was unaware that it existed.

Once on Schnotzelvakian soil, Mr. Trump and Mrs. Pelosi would obtain quickie Schnotzelvakian divorces and then be married by the Chaplain of the Schnotzelvakian Horse Hockey League. Plans say that the couple would then engage in the ancient Schnotzelvakian wedding ritual, the dung bath, before honeymooning.

Plans also call for Mr. Trump to leave his good buddy and best man Vladimir Putin in charge of the U.S. Government while he is away.

This article is part of the “Dispatches from SNN” (Slobovian News Network) series.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.