Bon Jovi’s Song Contest About COVID-19 Meets with Aggression from Online Humor Writer

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An unexpected pie in the face for Bon Jovi.

Bon Jovi, the leader of the Grammy award winning popular rock band from Boston that bears his name, has received an unexpected pie in the face from an unnamed online humor writer.

It all started when Jon Bon Jovi started writing a song about the difficulties that our nation has dealing with the Coronavirus and invited fans from across the country to come up their own lyrics to help finish it.

In an article from the Associated Press, a kindergarten teacher fan got his class in Palm Beach Gardens to come up with some rhymes. This impressed Mr. Jovi so much that he had an online meeting with the youngsters during their class, in which he sang the three he liked best. He especially praised a young man named A.J., whose addition to the song held the poignant rhyme, “My parents try their best/But I can tell they’re stressed.” Bon Jovi complimented the boy, saying “You’re a rock star! We wrote this together, me and you buddy!”

Of course, there are always detractors. Also noteworthy was a an entry from a famous anti-Bon Jovi critic who put in his two-cents worth in a derogatory fashion who shall remain unnamed. His prose went like this:

An Ode To Bon Jovi and His Song About Corona

I am so glad there is this pandemic, it stops your rock and roll gimmick.
So you have to give up the musical schlock that you try to mimic.

Thank God for the huge lock-down, it shuts all your amplifiers down
saving us from your hellish sound; now quiet can finally be found.

No longer do I need earplugs inserted to keep out your music perverted.
Peace abounds now that your talents are diverted.

My hearing is returning to normal, now freed from your auditory turmoil,
to which my nerves recoil and brings my blood pressure to boil

The quarantine is a mixed blessing I am now freely confessing,
it keeps you at home, no longer free to roam.

Now you must stay put on your a–es,
instead of blasting your tunes to the masses.

The good thing about COVID 19, it keeps you from impregnating more teens,
who dance to your seductive songs while taking hits on their inflated bongs,
and saves taxpayers from paying extortion’s,
caused by their many abortions.

Maybe a little home confinement will bring about a little personal refinement
and songs with a more spiritual slant rather than just a working class rant.

So while locked-down you can work on your imperfections,
as well as your many transgressions.
Just ask me; I’ll make some suggestions.

Yours truly,
__________ (the Mystery Writer)

When questioned about this particular author’s venomous hatred of him and his band and why he dislikes him so much, Bon Jovi shrugged and said “I don’t know why this guy has it so out for me. Maybe I dated his sister once or something.”

Roger Freed
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