Next Global Pandemic Already Predicted - Ted Holland, Humor Times

The Slobovian Secret Service say they have uncovered the “next global pandemic.”

Part of the "Dispatches from SNN" series (Slobovian News Network).

The predictive Analytic and Anosognosic Department of the Slobovian Secret Service has unearthed a virus that they predict will become the next global pandemic.

After consulting with Dr. Buncha Krappski of the Slobovian National Health Foundation to validate the findings, the SSS released a statement that the new found virus dubbed the “Crapella Virus” could spread worldwide by mid-2021.

The spread of the virus among humans will be fostered by people being over-exposed to bullshit. Since there is no cure for bullshit, there will be no cure for the novel Crapella Virus. Dr. Krappski said that the only way to avoid the pandemic will be proactive social distancing.

All humans should adhere to a social distance of 600 feet (not a typo) from the following bullshit purveyors:

Politicians
Lawyers
TV newscasters and weathermen
Used car salesmen
Pro wrestlers
Rappers
Soccer announcers
TV preachers
Krapbongists (Slobovia only)

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.