[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Kim Jong Un Accepts Endorsement Deal with 7-Up

New endorsement deal to feature Kim Jong Un as spokesman for the popular soda.

endorsement deal features Kim Jong UnTo add to all of the swirling rumors and growing confusion concerning Kim Jong Un’s current state of health and whereabouts, it has now been reported that he has recently entered into a commercial endorsement deal for the popular soft drink, 7-up.

The agreement, according to unnamed sources, will feature the North Korean leader in several thirty-second spots touting the lemon-lime soda as the “Kim Jong Un-Cola,” with the slogan: “Thermonuclear thirst demands thermonuclear refreshment!”

Some experts see this as yet another indication of North Korea‘s desire to become more “westernized,” while others believe that Kim Jong Un has now gone completely mad, and intends to name the soda as his successor.

President Trump, not to be outdone, is now seeking his own soft drink endorsement. According to presidential aides, they may have already found the perfect fit for Trump in Fanta Orange.

Ralph Lombard
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