'Doobies Not Boobies' - an Excerpt from 'Ninety-Nine Stories'

The following short story is an excerpt from the new e-book “Ninety-Nine Stories” by Barry Fiegel (292 pages, available on Amazon for $9.99). This is but a random sample, one of the wide-ranging topics covered in the 99 stories therein. (See ad on this site, right column.)

Doobies Not Boobies

by Barry Fiegel

First of all, for a person who may not know what a “doobie” is, a doobie is a marijuana cigarette, also called a “joint,” among other terms. It’s not, however, as if we of Doobies Not Boobies advocate drug use—we don’t. We are neither for nor against the use of drugs. (What we are in favor of is freedom: freedom of choice.) Instead, we advocate that people—females especially—think a bit, before they voluntarily undergo surgery—have a boob job—for no good reason.

Take for example the real-life example of this pop-music entertainer called Beyoncé. In one of those People-like or Us-like magazines we of DNB saw a photograph of Beyoncé from the year 2001 and a photograph of her ten years later, in 2011. In the 2001 photograph it was obvious that Beyoncé’s chest was her natural, normal chest but in the 2011 photograph it was equally obvious that she’d had her mammary glands pumped up with jelly or whatever that stuff is, but we thought that Beyoncé looked a lot better (hotter, sexier) in the “before” photograph than in the “after” photograph, so what does that tell you?

(And her looking better/hotter/sexier in the “before” photograph definitely didn’t have anything to do with her being ten years younger in that photograph, either.)

Another example is Michelle Obama, the “first lady” of the United States government. Actually, Michelle Obama is the de facto “poster person” of Doobies Not Boobies, because she looks fine—she looks terrific—without her ever having undergone unnecessary, and even undesirable, cosmetic surgery.

Also we of DNB think that the implicit “message” of someone such as Michelle Obama is as if to say: “Hey, Ladies—girls and women (also boys and men)—wake up. Get a life. Don’t be so vain. Don’t be so small-minded. Instead, reflect for a bit on the heroic women of the present and the past: your mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers: Isn’t it pretty obvious that they had more important and significant things to do with their life and time than fret about the size and shape of their breast and chest? Even if, hypothetically, they could have, would they have wasted their time and money on something as trivial and frivolous and unnecessary as breast ‘enhancement’ or the like?”

Well, that’s enough said.

Thank you for your time, and have a good day.

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