Why Trump & Other Men Won't Wear One - Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

‘Getting it on’ means different things to different people… even in the White House!

MELANIA

Hon, you have to wear one!

DONALD

You know I don’t like to.

MELANIA

Goggles won’t do, Donald!

DONALD

I don’t see it for myself.

MELANIA

Comes in all colors – you love colors. Why not a Black one?

DONALD

Are you kidding me?

DONALD

I don’t know when to put it on!

MELANIA

Ask Pence – he’ll even show you the first time.

DONALD

It would look ridiculous.

MELANIA

No Kings, Queens, Dictators gonna see us – can they?

DONALD

Shh… Lincoln’s eye is moving!

DONALD

Wearing one would project weakness.

MELANIA

Okay, this time you be on top.

DONALD

I can’t feel anything.

MELANIA

Maybe it’s too small.

DONALD

They’re all too small!

MELANIA

Go by Hat size.

DONALD

Not Slovania hats!

DONALD

Well, it slips off.

MELANIA

Make up your mind – too tight or too loose?

DONALD

Stormy didn’t compla…

MELANIA

Pfft… she was too busy counting stomach rolls!

DONALD

And, it’s so noisy!

MELANIA

Noisy?

DONALD

Yeah, when my nose & mouth are covered – everything is louder!

DONALD

Uh oh! Get on that beautiful Resolute Desk, woman…I’ve met the moment & I’m about to prevail!

MELANIA

Ah well… BE BEST!

DONALD

Wait! Did you get your 1,200?

MELANIA

No.

DONALD

Done!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha