Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Reverend Al Sharpton and President Donald J. Trump.
ANNOUNCER
Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show. Today on the show, I have two special guests. Political activist and MSNBC host of Politics Nation Reverend Al Sharpton. And President Donald J. Trump.
REVEREND AL SHARPTON
What does the J stand for after Donald?
JERRY
Jerk.
SHARPTON
I always thought it was jackass.
PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP
The Rev looks like he survived The Hunger Games.
SHARPTON
And you look like you swallowed a whale. Just sayin.
JERRY
There was a tragic murder of an unarmed black man by white cops last week in Minneapolis. Riots in the streets. A Target store was looted and burned to the ground.
TRUMP
These people are thugs. Does it make any sense?
SHARPTON
Yes, Trumpster. That’s because Walmart didn’t have what they needed.
TRUMP
I hear Iran has no Walmarts. Only targets.
JERRY
Racism is a serious problem in America. It’s gotten worse instead of better.
SHARPTON
Yeah. That’s because we don’t have leadership in the White House.
TRUMP
Are you talking to me, Rev?
SHARPTON
Who do you think? In 1973 and ’78, Trump Management was sued by the U.S. Justice Department for housing discrmination against African-American renters. In 2011, you pushed a conspiracy that Barack Obama was born in Kenya. And that lie went on for 4 years.
TRUMP
It’s not a lie if you believe it.
SHARPTON
There’s more, Trumpster. You said a group of five black teenagers were guilty of a 1989 rape of a white woman in Central Park despite the fact they were officially exonerated in 2002.
TRUMP
African countries are shitholes.
SHARPTON
This was New York City.
TRUMP
“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody. And I wouldn’t lose any voters.” They love me. I’m a stable genius.
JERRY
Hey, Rev. Inspire us.
SHARPTON
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”
TRUMP
Don King said, “Martin Luther King, Jr. took us to the mountain top. I want to take us to the bank.”
JERRY
Rev. Early in your career you were James Brown’s tour manager.
SHARPTON
I’m a cool dude.
JERRY
Why did James Brown always tour Asia?
SHARPTON
I don’t know.
JERRY
He loved the Seoul train.
SHARPTON
After seven years on the road, I found a new job. Started the National Youth Movement to raise resources for impoverished youth. I pushed for criminal justice reform.
TRUMP
And I signed the criminal justice reform bill.
JERRY
That’s so you won’t have to go to prison after you leave office.
SHARPTON
He’s going there, Duncan. I have dibs on the first license plate the Trumpster makes. But there is something more important. I want the Jefferson Memorial in Washington, D.C. defunded, because Thomas Jefferson owned slaves and had children with his slave Sally Hennings.
TRUMP
I loved The Jeffersons. Funniest show in television history. Was Weezy his daughter-in-law?
SHARPTON
If I paid you to think, you could cash in your check at the penny arcade!
JERRY
Trumpster. What’s your favorite nation?
TRUMP
I’d have to say Norway.
SHARPTON
We heard it was Discrimination.
TRUMP
Fake news.
JERRY
Can I tell you a joke about the wall?
TRUMP
Sure.
JERRY
Never mind. You won’t get over it. See you tomorrow everyone.
The Jerry Duncan Show
(c) Dean B. Kaner
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