Text Messaging G-d: Who Knew He Didn’t Like Emojis?

Text Messaging God

A satirical peek at my text messaging convo with the Man Upstairs about the Man in the White House who carries a Bible as far as across the street!

ME

It’s me again.

G-d

Not another Trump joke, please!

ME

No, I need to apologize!  Trump’s smearing Biden, using your name in vain & sort of foaming at the mouth!

G-d

That’s theatrical – I give him that!

ME

He said, Biden is against you – he’s gone bat sh_ _ crazy!

G-d

Dear, it’s all in the plan.

ME

You mean you want us to learn from it & then appreciate our wonderful country when he’s gone?

G-d

I don’t like to be so obvious about my work – but you’ve almost had enough.

ME

And, there’s this other thing…

G-d

Wear a Mask!

ME

On behalf of, well… most Americans; we want answers.

G-d

It’s not my department.

ME

Well then – how about the Election.  Could you?

G-d

Marilyn, I’m surprised you’re asking – you know I can’t do anything about Jock Itch or the Post Office!

ME

What about the timing of the Vaccine?  Before the Election?

G-d

If I could – I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction… but I can’t  – so, all I can say is – ‘Take the 2nd Batch’!

ME

I thought you said it’s not your department.

G-d

I move in mysterious ways.

ME

Well, you know – I’m unable to get Escargot, Pate or Twinkies!

G-d

I don’t take responsibility!

ME

You know, Trump says the world is in a very angry place!

G-d

It never reached my desk!

ME

But he says everything’s under control!

G-d

Nobody gives me credit.

ME

Do you know we can’t even pray in church – we have to do it at home!

G-d

did that!

ME

Oh no – not another one!

Marilyn Sands
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