The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Nut Job Dr. Stella Immanuel

Wherein our intrepid talk radio show host interviews Dr. Stella Immanuel.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? Yes, it is. My guest today is Dr. Stella Immanuel, Trump conspiracist and proponent of Hydroxychloroquine to be used in the treatment of Coronavirus.

JERRY

Let me just get it out there. You are a nut job!

DR. STELLA IMMANUEL

(Cameroon accent) Why? Just because I say DNA from space aliens currently being used in medicine?

JERRY

No. For claiming Donald Trump is not a space alien.

IMMANUEL

All I know is dat I’m from Cameroon.

JERRY

Trump calls that “shithole country.”

IMMANUEL

I tought he talking about Alabama.

JERRY

Hey, Doc. Do you know the most popular pick up line in Cameroon?

IMMANUEL

Nope.

JERRY

Nice tooth.

IMMANUEL

Dat mean, Duncan. Some people like me have two tooth.

JERRY

Multiple studies have disputed claims that Hydroxychloroquine can help treat or even prevent the Coronavirus. The FDA said it has not been an effective treatment for the virus.

IMMANUEL

Who da FDA? These are da same foo dat claim face mask and social distancing necessary. Caitlyn Jenner skinny because FDA just banned trans fat. Now what we do?

JERRY

Eat boogers.

IMMANUEL

Dat a good idea. Many people tink boogers funny, but they snot. I know kids don’t eat spinach, but love boogers.

The studio door slams shut. Donald Trump enters.

DONALD TRUMP

I need to meet that brilliant doctor from the lagoon.

IMMANUEL

It’s Cameroon.

TRUMP

I know. Next to Harlem. Do you know what the most positive thing is in Harlem?

IMMANUEL

Da Apollo Theater?

TRUMP

HIV.

JERRY

You’re stereotyping Black people. There are upscale brownstones in Harlem. Whites are moving there by the hundreds. The neighborhoods are revitalized.

TRUMP

Excuse me. I need to finish lying. A Black person loves me and you’re looking at her.

IMMANUEL

I love Trumpster. He like a rock.

JERRY

Only dumber.

TRUMP

You keep trying to make me look like a fool. I don’t need your help, Duncan. I’m a stable genius.

JERRY

Mr. Ed was a stable genus. You’re a horse’s ass.

TRUMP

Dr. I. You live in Houston. Right?

IMMANUEL

Well. I on da run from Louisiana for malpractice.

TRUMP

That’s okay. I’m on the run from New York for fraud and corruption.

JERRY

Don’t forget tax evasion and money laundering.

TRUMP

Okay. So I forgot a few. I have a question, Doc. Heard Formaldehyde cures the Coronavirus.

JERRY

Are you crazy? It’s used in building materials.

TRUMP

Shit! I just mixed it with soap. Is it poisonous? Answer fast, my hands are feeling numb.

IMMANUEL

Let me pray the poison away. I’m witch doctor. “Ooh Eeh Ooh Ah Aah Ting Tang Walla Walla Bing Bang.”

TRUMP

Do me a favor. I only need one more vote for a recount in Texas. I don’t want to lose the election to Sleepy Joe Biden. Do I have yours?

IMMANUEL

Of course you do. Except..

TRUMP

What?

IMMANUEL

I’m an illegal and ICE is deporting me in an hour. My vote don’t count.

TRUMP

The human body has over 7 trillion nerves. And Dr. Immanuel just got on mine.

JERRY

See you tomorrow.

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Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis. Check out The Jerry Duncan Show on YouTube, as well as on Instagram, and the sketch comedy A Bit of Biden (on Instagram) and at @abitofbiden on TikTok.