Melania's GOP Convention Address - JC Wade, Humor Times

First Lady pledges not to plagiarize Michelle Obama at this year’s convention address.

Melania Trump will be giving a Republican National Convention address next week and sources close to the first lady surprised reporters by announcing that she will not be plagiarizing Michelle Obama’s speech this time.

“I would clearly be in over my head in trying to repeat such a powerful speech” she is purported to have uttered. According to Chris Wallace of Fox News, the former first lady really “flayed, sliced and diced” President Trump, something the current first lady declared she would never do in public. “I only do that in private” she is alleged to have said.

Another source, who only agreed to speak on the condition of anonymity, stated that Mrs. Trump would be carefully listening to Jill Biden’s speech in hopes that it is one she could reprise next week. If that doesn’t work out, she planned to read the Emancipation Proclamation or the Declaration of Independence.

However, that idea was apparently leaked to the president’s legal team who were quick to point out that the couple’s revised prenuptial agreement forbid her from using the word emancipation or making any reference to a declaration of independence before the 2020 election.

The anonymous source said that, as a backup plan the first lady would read the Gettysburg Address claiming that it would be fitting and proper for her to deliver that oration and that Lincoln’s address had been delivered so many years ago that no one would remember it.

The nation can’t wait to hear whose speech she delivers this time.

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JC Wade

J. Wade is a retired Chief Financial Officer from Missouri. He has had humor articles published in the Humor Times, USA Today, The Journal of Irreproducible Results and Unhinged Magazine, which is now defunct (not his fault).