Trump’s hedged bet can’t be beat.
President Trump made history the other day, even while treating his bout with COVID as a thing of the past. Scoffing at the whole idea of staging a virtual debate with Joe Biden as “ridiculous,” Trump told Fox News host Maria Bartiromo that it didn’t make any difference: “I beat him easily in the first debate… I felt I beat him. I think he felt it too.” He added, “in the second debate we have a never-Trumper as a host. But that’s OK because I beat him in the second debate also. But I’m not gonna do a virtual debate.”1
Hold on: Mr. Trump already won the second debate? He won a Presidential debate that has yet to occur? If so, all bets are off — except mine. Does Mr. Trump know something we don’t? Or… know Somebody? How is it possible? Or did debate No.2 take place in the Leni Riefenstahl theatre of Trump’s mind? Is he clairvoyant? Was he predicting the future, or is he present at all times… like the Supreme Being? Scary thought — enough to make anyone wonder if the future isn’t contingent, but simply predestined. Where are those exceptional 17th century Puritans when we need them to explain what all this means? Or are they all celebrating Trump’s return from Walter Reed, as the second homecoming of Lazarus? After all, who needs a virtual debate, when the real One is transparent? For that matter, who needs an election, except to Heaven: and that was determined, long in advance. Forget about going back to the future: future doom is now. History is bunk — Der Führer sei uns ewig.
[1] “Mornings with Maria,” telephone interview with Pres. Trump, Fox News Network, October 8, 2020. Steve Scully (C-Span) is the “never-Trumper” to whom Trump alludes. A moment later, Trump said “I have a host who I always thought was a nice guy, but I see he’s a never-Trumper… we do have some of them, Maria, believe it or not, because they don’t like to win.” I believe it, although it may be news to Scully, whose name isn’t mentioned. But then, what’s a host compared to the holy host? And what’s a virtual debate, compared to getting a live ‘phone call in the studio from Almighty God?
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