Trump's "Jeers of a Clown" - Ralph Lombard, Humor Times

“Jeers of a Clown” record album to be released this week.

In what seems to be a desperate attempt to revive his rapidly waning poll numbers, Donald Trump today announced the upcoming release of his first official presidential record album, “Jeers of a Clown.”

“I love listening to the sound of my own voice,” he explained, “Especially in stereo, with the volume turned all the way up! It’s so beautiful you can’t even begin to imagine it, but believe me, it’s the most wonderful thing you’ve ever heard. Which is why I decided to record an album of all of my greatest bad-boy presidential hits. I won’t say it’s the most tremendous album ever produced, but it probably is!”

The two-disc set contains two dozen of the president’s favorite song-and-dance numbers from the past four years of his International Preda-Tour:

Disc One, Side One

Mad Loon Rising
Jeers of a Clown
Mocking in the Free World
Comfortably Numbskull
I Only Have Eyes For Me
Don’t Worry, Be Sappy

Disc One, Side Two

Blunder Road
Reign of Fools
Runaround and Sue
Somebody to Shove
For Everything Turn, Turn, Turn (To Trump Merchandise!)
Born to Ruin

Disc Two, Side One

Scorn in the USA
You Put a Smell on Me (Because You’re Mueller)
Light My Falsifier
I Bought the Law
Unchained Felony
My Degeneration

Disc Two, Side Two

Tangled Up in Blue States
Running on Empty (Promises)
He’s Not Heavy, He’s My Donor
Whole Lotta Fakin’ Going On
I Conspiracy For Miles
All I Have to Do is Scream

“All good, loyal, patriotic Americans should run out and buy this unbelievably incredible record of mine,” the president concluded, “Feel free to sing along, and if you don’t know the words just say ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah!'”

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Ralph Lombard

I was born a young baby. Then I grew up. Then I grew confused. Then I grew tired. I'm a 20th century man who's somehow been transported to the 21st century, with one foot in the gone past and the other in the here now. I started my blog mymanymoodsofme toward the end of 2012. There I write humorous essays, stories and poems (lyrics from my songs), in addition to my aphorisms. It's good work... if you get it. In my spare time I play chess, write songs, and reflect upon what I see. I'm very happy to be colluding with Humor Times, and hope you enjoy the result. Cheers!