The Toobin Tales: Top 10 excuses Author & Legal CNN Analyst, Jeffrey Toobin gave for getting off the air or just another Talking Head spieling his load.
But, what if the glove was on the other hand & it was Donald Trump who got caught doing the same thing?
1. NO, NOT ME – MINE IS MUCH BIGGER!
2. I DON’T NEED THAT – I HAVE A GREAT PIECE OF ASS RIGHT HERE!
3. THOSE DEMS ARE ALL SEX MANIACS!
4. DID IT GET GOOD POLL NUMBERS?
5. CAN’T WAIT TO SLIP IT IN MY LAST DEBATE & WAKE UP SLEEPY JOE!
6. I DON’T WATCH PORN – I HAVE SOME OLD NATIONAL GEOGRAPHICS!
I mean this!
7. DON’T BELIEVE MELANIA – SHE NEVER SAW IT…I WEAR ‘ONESIES’!
8. TRUST ME – I WOULDN’T LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SORDID AS THIS!
9. I KNOW IT WASN’T MIKE PENCE – THE LAST TIME HE SAW BEAVER WAS BOY SCOUT CAMP ‘WANNAPEEANYWHERE’!
And…
10. IF IT WAS OVER 12 INCHES – MAYBE IT WAS ME!
Sorry, I don’t know how to enlarge stuff!
Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. Was up one night & wrote 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play. Her hilarious book "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines is on amazon.com/dp/1733487409And, "OWNING THE STAGE, RENTING THE BALLS"!My Life as a Funny Girlis on amazon.com/dp/1733487417"Living proofyou don't have to be a success to write a Memoir"!And yes, this bio is my OBIT too!haha
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