Formerly known as “America’s Mayor,” Giuliani has come a long way since he resided at Gracie Mansion.
While dyeing to be a loyal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani takes on his own Jersey case!
RUDY GIULIANI
Youse got to believe me Judge – my girlfriend colored my hair!
JUDGE
And, that’s why your color ran down your face?
RUDY
She bought it from a guy who knew a guy.
JUDGE
Trudy – have lunch brought in. Go on.
RUDY
He was a Michigan Election Ballot Counter & he sold it from the trunk of his car! So, he’s on trial, not me?
JUDGE
Anything more before I turn to my Statutes?
RUDY
I didn’t knock those statutes coming in here – ask my girlfriend!
Oh, I see what you want – the product was made by a Democrat & he voted for a dead man!
JUDGE
And, who did the dead man vote for?
RUDY
Trump, you idiot!
JUDGE
I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.
RUDY
Youse a real doll, Judge.
JUDGE
So, you say it was defective & a nationwide fraud?
RUDY
Exactly!
JUDGE
Did you bring in the evidence?
RUDY
Well, I found Tubes 1, 3 & 5. I guess 2 & 4 are in a Joisey Landfill now!
JUDGE
What Exit?
Some of these I do just for me! ha ha
JUDGE
Is this the first time you ever used this brand?
RUDY
Yes & I’m so disillusioned.
JUDGE
I know, I know…no one wants to go to court over $8.49!
RUDY
Well, the world is laughing.
JUDGE
You think it’s the first time?
RUDY
I should’ve listened to Gotti & got me a lawyer to do this.
JUDGE
What else did he say?
RUDY
Never buy #222 ‘Sycophant Bologna Brown’!
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