Nostalgic for 2019 - David Martin, Humor Times

Are you, too, nostalgic for the good old days – like 2019?

Despite my advancing years, I’ve never much cared for those nostalgia e-mails celebrating the 1950s. As I recall that era, it was filled with unsafe vehicles, unhealthy food, limited medical treatments and widespread racism, sexism and homophobia.

For the most part, I prefer the present day, except perhaps for the ongoing pandemic. And that is why I’d like to receive a nostalgic e-mail celebrating the joys and wonders of 2019 as in, do you remember when:

You had no idea what PPE meant.
Washing one’s hands was only an occasional activity.
Dining out was a regular unexceptional treat.
Masking was an adjective used with the word “tape.”
No one took your temperature when you entered a store or shopping center.
You weren’t afraid to go to the hospital if necessary.
Watching movies often took place in a cinema.
Wearing masks, particularly if you were a Muslim woman, was sometimes frowned on.
Kids spent the whole day in school.
You couldn’t recall if you had any hand sanitizer in your home, your car or at all.
No one criticized you for handling the fruits and vegetables at the grocery store.
You didn’t think twice about being a straphanger on the bus or subway.
You never worried about your TV overheating.
You never heard of COVID-19.
Your clothes still fit you.
Sweatpants were only for weekends.
Lineups were a nuisance, not a health hazard.
Toilet paper was cheap and plentiful.
You never used that stationary bicycle you bought years ago.
Airplane travel was not terrifying.
You didn’t obsessively follow pandemic statistics.
Netflix was not an absolute necessity.
Your coffee table was filled with travel brochures.
The mask-wearing and hand washing habits of others was of no concern to you.
Hand shaking was common.
Hugs were an accepted show of affection.
You weren’t afraid to go to Costco.
You actually looked forward to 2020.

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David Martin

Dave's political satire and short humor have appeared in most major North American newspapers. He is also the author of several humor collections including "Dare to be Average", "Screams & Whispers" and "King Donald I" available on Amazon.